Role of the Father to be
Created by Parentune Support Updated on Jan 12, 2020
“My husband took good care of me during those nine months, and pampered me like a child,” I overhead a lady say this at a coffee shop, while her companion, another lady with a grim face kept nodding her head and finally said, “Oh but I wasn’t that fortunate, my husband was out of town, came late nights, and it was terrible for me.”
Being pregnant is great! It’s a gift from God! But if the mother to be has an extra, and I really mean extra, caring husband during those nine months, you really won’t need to take her on that romantic vacation! Believe me because as a woman we maybe strong mentally and physically, but when we are pregnant we want to be pampered which will also bear you both a happy child.
So not only the expectant mother but the to-be father too has a crucial role to play. It is important for the husband to have a complete understanding of the process and the countless adjustments needed during this time.
Fix that Appointment
And no, we don’t mean your office appointment diary! These days it isn’t uncommon to see a husband accompany his wife for a prenatal visit. Priya Sinha, a mother of two children says, “My husband used to fix my appointments with the gynaecologist. And he used to take a half day leave from his work just to be with me. I used to vomit about three times a day, and he was the one who would discuss this concern with the doctor.”
The most beautiful part of accompanying your wife to her doctor is that when a scan is being done both of you get the pleasure to see the tiny being growing and wiggling inside the womb!
Beauty Baby Sleep
While it is necessary to be active during pregnancy, it is equally important that your wife gets to sleep well. Maybe you could surprise her by doing some household chores when necessary. Navishka Bhatia, mother of one year old says, “I had a serious problem of smell, especially that of garlic and onion. Our meals are incomplete without them. So I couldn’t stand in the kitchen let alone cook properly. At that time my husband pitched in and used to cook for both of us. He used to wake up early in the morning before leaving for office and tried his best to come early in the evening before dinner. It felt amazing!”
Remember actress Preity Zinta in the movie Salaam Namaste where she makes a hue and cry for Belgium Chocolate ice cream at 1 am? That doesn’t happen only in movies, it happens in real life too! It can be from pani puris, bhel, Chinese or just your plain mango ice cream! But she will crave for a particular food or perfume. And your role as a good husband and a father-to-be is to fulfil this craving of hers.
Lisa DaCunha, mother of five month old son says, “I had this special craving for chicken tandoori and my husband after returning from work at 10 pm, would again drive down some six kilometres to this famous restaurant, in Pune, from our home just to get it for me!
Madhu Mehta, who is seven months pregnant with her first child says, “At 12 in the night I suddenly had this urge to eat roasted almond ice cream, and my husband had just returned from his outstation trip. I started throwing tantrums like a child. Though he was very tired, he still drove me down just to have my special ice cream.”
Nutrition and Medicines
At the early stage of pregnancy, you may feel that your wife is not eating enough. Don’t rush her through. She is just trying to adjust to her body’s need and the baby’s requirement. She will feel like eating in her second trimester. From your end, ensure, she is not going hungry and eating somewhat.Also make sure she takes her iron, folic acid and vitamin supplements everyday.
Take that Walk!
You may think, let her sleep and let her rest. As much as rest is important, being active is important too. But women can be cranky and quite forgetful at this stage, so you need to boost that morale and encourage her. Isha Talwar says, “Post office all I wanted to do was flop on the couch in front of the telly, but my husband used to insist to go on a walk. This gave us time to chit chat and I did my bit of walk too!”
Most importantly spend as much as time as you can together, cooking together, listening to music or doing something extra special. This is good for both the mother and child. Just be patient and do not demand too much from her. Be there for her and your child.
Prior to the d-day, try reading about labour as well as speak to her gynaecologist for the same. There are classes for labour preparation and childbirth to give a better understanding. Most importantly just be there by her side. She may feel nervous, excited, scared and what not. Try to calm her down and most importantly ask her to relax and take few deep breaths. Last, but not the least, keep calm yourself!
Now that you have become a proud papa, hold your baby at the first available opportunity. Do not shy or feel unsure. The first human contact the baby has makes the baby familiar with your warmth and touch and helps in bonding both father and the child.
And remember, your role doesn’t end here. Now that the baby is here, take care of the baby once in a while, independently, giving the mother the much-needed break or snooze time. Happy father-ing!
| Oct 04, 2018
| Jul 22, 2017
I need tips on how to manage all this on my own as I don't want to bother my hubby.
| Apr 20, 2017
| Apr 02, 2017
I'm also very lucky and happy to have my husband, as my mom was unable to come home, My husband took her role and was taking care of me like a child. First 4 months he did cooking , he was always around me, when vomiting and cleaning every time. It was incredible, I love him very much, thanks to God :)
| Dec 16, 2016
Even my husband looks after me a lot... I am about to enter my 6th month of pregnancy. All the points that I read are very much familiar for me.
| Aug 08, 2016
in this case I'm also a lucky women. I discovered a new person in my hubby during my pregnancy. he took care of me like a mother. make me feel beautiful as I was going mad of my baby bump. he became my stress buster by listening my nonsense anger talk .I was carrying baby in my womb but he was carrying baby n my thoughts in his mind.
| Dec 08, 2015
| Oct 19, 2015
Good One !!!
| Jul 07, 2015
My husband did everything when I was pragnent n still doing it...
| Feb 08, 2015
| Jan 13, 2015
| Dec 09, 2014
| Oct 29, 2014
good blog... worth a read
| Oct 29, 2014
Are there any workshops or sessions held for fathers or where fathers can come with their wives to know more about easing labour pains? would like to know. thanks
| Oct 29, 2014
interesting blog... i wish my husband had read it, when I was expecting!!!
| Oct 29, 2014
I hope all to-be fathers read this blog and make life simpler for their expecting wives
| Oct 27, 2014
Thanks for the blog :)
| Oct 16, 2014
Thanks Neha and Shipra:))
| Oct 15, 2014
I will share this with my husbdand. thanks megha for such a lovely blog.
| Oct 14, 2014
Very intersting blog... i like the ideas