Siblings fight – Here is what to do?
Created by Parentune Support Updated on Sep 10, 2020
Here are some of the simple tweaks that can break a cycle of siblings arguing and fighting. They are necessary first steps to creating more peace, harmony and enjoyment in your home. Read now...
1. If you’re still trying to make your children get along, the solution is simple: STOP. But first, I want you to observe their fighting and stop getting involved within them.
2. Because kids usually fight for their parents, the solution is just to watch what happens when you act like you don’t notice. Walk out of the room or act like you don’t notice. Walk out of the room or act like, you found something more interesting to pay attention to. That doesn’t mean you ignore a situation where you think someone is in serious jeopardy of being hurt, but it does mean you learn to ignore the fighting that is designed to engage YOU.
3. If you are doing things for your children that they could do for themselves, the solution is to: Invite , Train , Encourage and Support your children as they begin to engage in navigating the hills and valleys of their lives.
4. Rules - Let children know what’s ok and what’s not. If you have family rules in place, it’s easier for you to remind children of how you expect them to treat each other.
5. Show your children how to get along. You are your children’s number – one role model. Your children will notice if you work out differences without fighting. If you want your children to work things out calmly and respectfully, they need to see you doing this first. If you want to see them able to say sorry to others, they need to see their parents apologising too.
6. Always coach your children well. You are your children’s problem – solving coach . You teach them how to handle disagreements and guide them towards skills for managing angry feelings, negotiating and playing fair.
7. Give your children opportunities to play with others. Playgroups , playdates and games help children learn to play well together and practise positive alternatives to fighting.
8. Talk things over later. With older children, working out a blame – free solution afterwards will make the fight less likely to happen again. For example , ‘ How COULD YOU HAVE HANDLED IT SO THAT BOTH OF YOU GOT TO USE THE COMPUTER?’
9. Help children find ways to express upset or angry feelings through calm words or positive activities. For examples , water play , painting and playdough help younger children express feelings. Older children and teenagers might find that going for a run or playing music helps.
With your help, children can learn to work out disagreements by themselves , without fighting. This can help your children get along better and deal positively with conflicts with other children. Always keep an eye on the action. This is your best chance of preventing full- scale fights.