Is Your Child Using Swear Words? Here's What You Can Do

Language develops in a peculiar way in each one of you. It is a human nature to pick up the bad things first because they are easy to learn and grasp. However, when you hear your child using or mouthing a bad word, you go all into a shock mode, screaming at your child – what did you just say, where you picked up that word, and do you even know the meaning of the word among other non-stop questions and gyan you give them.

Yes, it is always a shock for parents when their child uses an inappropriate word. But, It is also not true that children always pick up such words from just their parents. Children pick up words from anywhere and from anyone. There is information overload from social media too.

Picture This Scenario -- When Your Child Uses Swear Words

Sonica was driving her new car when a cyclist scraped her car and she let out a swearword. After a couple of days when her 6-year-old lost out in a game he used the same swear word at home. Sonica froze. Her eyes grew large. She screamed at her son,'what did you say, what did YOU say? Where did you learn this word..etc. etc.' Her son said,'mom I heard you using it in the car the other day.'/p>

So your child picked up a swear word from you and you are shocked. But what should be your next step. Let's read further to know.

What To Do If Your Child Is Using Swear Words?

Our children will get exposed to such language. So how do we tackle this situation? Here are few ways you can tackle the situation. You can start as early as toddlerhood.

• Observe your child's behaviour: Watch and observe your child. If it happens again, then try to understand when and where is he using it. Is he using it while getting angry or upset? Look at the situation. Then sit down with your child and coach him on how to tackle his emotions- 'I heard you use this word. I think you meant to say that you were angry. You can just scream that you are angry. It is ok to be angry but it is not ok to use this word. Here it is expression of emotions. So have you emotion coached your child? Are you providing a safe space for your child to express, to cry, to laugh, to get angry?
• Appreciate when they don't use the word: Appreciate him/her when he/she does not use such words or when they come and tell you, 'you know mamma I did not use the words even though my friends are using it.'Hug your child and appreciate the action
• Do they know the meaning: Ask them if they know the meaning, if they know they should not be using it and if they do not then first tell them the meaning and teach them it is a bad word and that they should avoid using it. Here you need to handle them with tact. Remind them about your family rule. This is the age they want to be included. They want to be part of the gang at school. Swear word at this stage is more to show off, to be 'cool'. Here give them substitutes for the swear words. Brainstorm with them for some substitute words. You will be surprised at their creativity and humour. Again coach them to express their emotions. You can help them think of different ways to be cool too
• Monitor the TV and computer: Keep both in a place where you can have an eye on what they are watching. While watching a movie or a TV show if you come across such language, use it as a teachable moment. For the older ones you can tell them about using appropriate words at appropriate places. Emphasise that it is not classy
• The most important factor is you- the parent: When you hear such a word- tell yourself to be calm, understand from the child's age and perspective. There is always a reason
• Cultivate the ritual of 'exclusive time': make it an after dinner ritual. Hang out with your child. Just chat, laugh and play. Your bonding will strengthen. Through such exclusive time you can emotion coach effortlessly

Did you like the blog on what to do if your child is using swear words? How do you coach your child to not to use such words? Please share your views and feedback with us in the comments section below, as we would love to hear from you.