Teen Daughter – 3 Ways To Cope Better
Created by Nandini Muralidharan Updated on Nov 30, 2017
You wake up one morning and suddenly find that your angelic girl who followed you around everywhere and said 'Mama, I love you' everyday has been replaced by a sullen-faced teenager who likes to be left alone and now screams "I hate you" with frightening regularity! Oh yes – it is worrying; it hurts too, and most of all, it scares you. So what to do? Read on to see 3 things you can do something about – and knowing these will help you cope better.
Tips On Coping Better With A Teen Daughter
Teenage is a vulnerable time in a child's life. We've all been there, and we know the pains. So here are three most common concerns when you have a teen daughter and tips on how to deal with them.
- "I want that perfect body": It is disturbing how the so-called perfect body is portrayed in popular media – and the most vulnerable targets are teenage daughters. It's easy to get caught in the trap of this 'perfect' body' and make unhealthy choices in an attempt to achieve it. And because this is as unreal as it gets, most girls are dejected by the lack of results and as a consequence, they are overcome by low self-esteem.
What to do? As a mother, teach her right from her younger years that there's much more to her than physical appearance.
- Good health is of utmost importance and not a skinny figure
- Talk to her constantly about what you watch on TV or read in magazines. Teach her to question these misleading ideas
- Sexual health: The mother of all anxieties: "Is my daughter sexually active?" – do you find yourself getting worried sick about this? Know this: Once a girl crosses the threshold into puberty, hormones grab control and this can be an extremely confusing time for her. However, you will find that she wants nothing less than to have a 'conversation' with you about boys or sex.
What to do? Remind yourself that you're the adult. Don't take the affront personally.
- Find ways and means to make her open up to you. What kind of activity would she like?
- Make some plans. Take your daughter to her favorite restaurant or watch a movie together
- It is a lot easier to talk casually over a meal outside or while watching TV than having a 'planned confrontation'
- Tell her that it's when she wants to. And when you think the time is right – talk to her about sex and most importantly tell her that it's perfectly fine to say NO to it
- As a starting point, say something like: "It is your choice to make… so the implications and consequences will be yours to bear too – shall we talk about that…"
- Coping with peer pressure: Experimenting comes with teen years. And it is a parent's nightmare. Is she drinking? Is she trying out drugs? Who is she meeting? You notice that your daughter will spend hours talking on the phone with a friend who she just said goodbye to at school two hours ago. And that her choice of clothing is deeply influenced by what she saw someone wearing at that party.
What to do? Yes, peer pressure does have a big role to play in the teen years, and as a parent all you need to do is make sure you keep all communication lines open.
- Check you tone while asking questions? They should not sound like threats. Your manner of speaking should encourage sharing
- Try and get to know your daughter's friends' parents too. All parents have similar concerns and it would comfort you to know some basics about the families that these friends come from
- Don't sweat the small stuff – if she is in a phase of wearing only black, let it be! Trust me, it won't last and maybe better than the next phase! Keep your humor alive
Parenting throws new challenges every day and with a teen daughter no two days will be the same. She only wants to break away from being an extension of you and become an independent young woman. But what she will never tell you and what you must repeat to yourself every single day is this: Yes, she needs this independence but she needs me to be there for her too – always.
| Dec 09, 2017
nice writeup. clears lots of anxiety of teen's parents
| Nov 30, 2017
We need to don the hat of a friend with our teenage child , who thinks she is no longer a child and can take decisions for herself. let her take the flight off the ground as she has just learnt to fly.. but do remind her of her limits. stopping her now would drift her apart and make her rebellious. amazing write up!!!
| Jul 27, 2017
very helpful ideas..
| Jun 03, 2017
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| Oct 21, 2016
Really nice and informative
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