Parenting

'When the going gets tough,the tough get going'

Monica Sanadhay
1 to 3 years

Created by Monica Sanadhay
Updated on Jan 27, 2016

When the going gets toughthe tough get going

Happiness is as clever as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but if you will sit down quietly, it may alight upon you.
Perhaps because of that impatient haste to grab happiness and settle down in life as it was high time, I had to experience the bitterest phase one could ever imagined taking place in a girl’s life who was always considered ‘happy go lucky’. It’s been more than four years now I have been all indulged into raising my only son with no trace of father around at all. The challenge was if I would be able to handle it alone without a man standing as pillar. Now I say, ‘I am the strongest pillar a child could ever have and rely on!’ 
I still can’t forget the moment I was forced to walk out of my own home along with my 1 year old boy, carrying just a small bag in which I had a diaper and few hundreds to make me afford bus fair. In such humiliating situation where else a girl can think of going other than her parents. With the help of a kind auto driver I reached the bus stop and caught the bus. Coming back to parents’ house and getting safe shelter did not stop those upcoming challenges I, as a single parent had to face. Moreover, I was jobless after being a fairly paid lawyer. All my cards and money were already confiscated before leaving my house. For about next six months I was dumb and non-reacting to things as a dummy that surely affected the health of my child too. Soon I had to come back to my consciousness and realization that God has shouldered over a responsibility on me which I should perform with honesty and dedication. After a lot of consideration I finally found a job, which was just ‘a’ job enough to survive in my new situation. However now the struggle grew even farther when my son had to spend time with housemaids with less affection, and much scolding. Things started deteriorating when he stopped speaking and couldn’t express himself. I waited patiently for him to speak, took him for vocal therapies, spoke to him repeating words associated with objects kept around, but nothing seemed to be working until I admitted to him a school in playgroup section and quit my job from the office as he needed more time with me. In an immense need to sustain my finances and continue my son’s education I have now joined his school as a teacher which enables me to spend as much time as required for him to start expressing his feelings. With consistent effort and God’s grace after he turned three, he started reciting rhymes in splintered words but in proper rhythm for sure what else could have I asked for? I was, by now, even a stronger person rising far above just being a crippled single mother.
Now, I realize the state of single ship may work wonder in your life if you learn to strive to create happiness alone, as concept before relying on someone to bring it to you through romance.(I do not suggest you to be single but be strong if circumstances have forced you to be.)During this time your hopes, dreams and desires for your future self are explored and then goals are established to be that person in the future. This is the time to examine your past, which surely should not be lingered upon; My suggestion to anyone who is fighting a personal or professional battle in life is  try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?

‘Raising a child is like raising a village’, so be proud to be a single parent as you are taking care of a life, grooming it for a community in help. Preparing and teaching him to be kind, sensible and human.The saying goes “The musicians don’t retire. They stop when they have no music in them.” I still have music in me.

 

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| Oct 11, 2016

Hats off Monica... Despite all help, was feeling depressed... U gave me an inspiration.. U rock!!

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| Sep 18, 2016

it is just the beginning dear ... I wish best for u n for your son... thanks for sharing your journey.. it inspire me a lot.. patience is d key to happiness but with some more efforts.. all d best

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| Aug 10, 2016

Monica ur write up gives me strength to stop relying on my Hubby n Mumma while I grow up my lil gal. Thanks.

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| Aug 08, 2016

you are really a great strong mother. God bless you and your son!

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| Jul 24, 2016

keep going Monica.... u' ve a beautiful heart where ur son has taken shelter...

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| Jul 24, 2016

hats off to you dear..... the way you accept the situation and fight with all courage is really appreciable...

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| Jul 24, 2016

Hi Monica, thanks for sharing us your story and you are a great strong mother by handling all the difficult situations with patience and courage.. God bless you and your son..

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| Jul 22, 2016

I pray to god to give u a lot ,a lot ........of strength to u always....

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| Jul 22, 2016

Hi Monica,ur great .....hats off n keep it up,don't loose ur confidence,also inspired a lot by ur story.... thanq for sharing with us.

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| Jul 22, 2016

Hats off to you for facing such hard phase of life with so much of courage to overcome the tough time. Wishing you more strength & power in times to come!

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| Jul 20, 2016

Monika , u r great. one should always remember, God helps those who helps themselves.

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| Jul 19, 2016

Very motivating monica.. Thanx It gave me strength.. facing almost same

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| Jul 10, 2016

very motivating.

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| Jul 02, 2016

wow such an inspiring story hats off to u God bless u

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| Jun 09, 2016

hats off to u .....really u r a wonderful mom...

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| May 18, 2016

Thank you Shradha, God bless you too:)

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| May 18, 2016

You are truly a courageous mom :) Hats off to your confidence and patience . May God bless you with more and more strength and happiness :)

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| Apr 29, 2016

hi

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| Apr 18, 2016

God bless u n ur son...

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| Feb 22, 2016

Thank you Ami for your love n support!

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| Feb 18, 2016

Like saying goes, Its easy to give example but difficult is to be one.. You set an example to become tougher then the situation you face in life. Love to your son, you are great a mother....

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| Feb 11, 2016

Kuddos to you Monica. hats off to you.

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| Feb 02, 2016

Thank you Pooja, I wish the same!

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| Feb 02, 2016

Very Inspirational Blog. Hope this Blog brings courage to the one is fighting a similar battle. A True Inspiration! Proud of you.

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| Feb 02, 2016

Hats off to u too Jurie!

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| Feb 02, 2016

Thanks for writing the blog. Its an inspiration as I am a single parent developing as a mother with my angel

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| Feb 01, 2016

Thank you Kavitha!

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| Feb 01, 2016

Hats off to you and your confidence..

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| Jan 29, 2016

Thank you Mahashree!

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| Jan 28, 2016

Proud of you as a woman for being confident and strong.... Keep it up dear.

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| Jan 27, 2016

Thank you Shikha for all your warm words and support. Hope it succors others as well.

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| Jan 27, 2016

Monica lots to learn from ur blog and yr life as well! U r truly an inspiration for women who are unable to gather courage to take up this bold step of single ship and continue to suffer and compromise because of their kid or their family. Kudos to u!

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