'When the going gets tough,the tough get going'
Created by Monica Sanadhay Updated on Jan 21, 2020
Happiness is as clever as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but if you will sit down quietly, it may alight upon you.
Perhaps because of that impatient haste to grab happiness and settle down in life as it was high time, I had to experience the bitterest phase one could ever imagined taking place in a girl’s life who was always considered ‘happy go lucky’. It’s been more than four years now I have been all indulged into raising my only son with no trace of father around at all. The challenge was if I would be able to handle it alone without a man standing as pillar. Now I say, ‘I am the strongest pillar a child could ever have and rely on!’
I still can’t forget the moment I was forced to walk out of my own home along with my 1 year old boy, carrying just a small bag in which I had a diaper and few hundreds to make me afford bus fair. In such humiliating situation where else a girl can think of going other than her parents. With the help of a kind auto driver I reached the bus stop and caught the bus. Coming back to parents’ house and getting safe shelter did not stop those upcoming challenges I, as a single parent had to face. Moreover, I was jobless after being a fairly paid lawyer. All my cards and money were already confiscated before leaving my house. For about next six months I was dumb and non-reacting to things as a dummy that surely affected the health of my child too. Soon I had to come back to my consciousness and realization that God has shouldered over a responsibility on me which I should perform with honesty and dedication. After a lot of consideration I finally found a job, which was just ‘a’ job enough to survive in my new situation. However now the struggle grew even farther when my son had to spend time with housemaids with less affection, and much scolding. Things started deteriorating when he stopped speaking and couldn’t express himself. I waited patiently for him to speak, took him for vocal therapies, spoke to him repeating words associated with objects kept around, but nothing seemed to be working until I admitted to him a school in playgroup section and quit my job from the office as he needed more time with me. In an immense need to sustain my finances and continue my son’s education I have now joined his school as a teacher which enables me to spend as much time as required for him to start expressing his feelings. With consistent effort and God’s grace after he turned three, he started reciting rhymes in splintered words but in proper rhythm for sure what else could have I asked for? I was, by now, even a stronger person rising far above just being a crippled single mother.
Now, I realize the state of single ship may work wonder in your life if you learn to strive to create happiness alone, as concept before relying on someone to bring it to you through romance.(I do not suggest you to be single but be strong if circumstances have forced you to be.)During this time your hopes, dreams and desires for your future self are explored and then goals are established to be that person in the future. This is the time to examine your past, which surely should not be lingered upon; My suggestion to anyone who is fighting a personal or professional battle in life is try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?
‘Raising a child is like raising a village’, so be proud to be a single parent as you are taking care of a life, grooming it for a community in help. Preparing and teaching him to be kind, sensible and human.The saying goes “The musicians don’t retire. They stop when they have no music in them.” I still have music in me.