Why you should never lie to your child?
Created by Mohit Sawhney Updated on Aug 12, 2015
Most of this month, we have been busy in the process of finalizing which car to buy. It was a long process and even more so because everyone was involved – from my dad to my 6-month-old daughter, Sohana.
Sohana's happiness or crankiness levels in the test drives were taken as indicators. I left the decision on the colour to my wife and our 4-year-old son, Tanav..I showed them all available colours and left them alone in a room so that they could discuss and decide.
After a while, Tanav came out running and excitedly told me, “Papa, dark brown colour is what we would go for!”
I assumed that this is a collective decision between him and my wife but as someone has rightly said, to assume is to make an ass of u and me. Later that evening, I casually asked my wife, “So, brown it is, right?”
She replied, “No ways! Serene Blue colour is lovely. You also like that one, don’t you?”
“But Tanav told me it was brown. Dark Brown. And I thought both of you decided together!” I said.
To which she said, “Oh yes, he is hung up on the brown, and I don’t really know why."
I asked, “So…what next?”
To which she replied, “I don’t know. You tell me?”
I said, “Okay, I guess we will tell him that the brown ones are out of stock, and we have to go with the blue one. No Big Deal!”
There was something about that little proposal of mine that I hadn’t liked but I let that thought pass.
I am glad I had the following realization the next morning. “The small little thing about the car colour and we are considering lying to our own son? Just to have our way! That can’t be right! What are we teaching our child? Children are smarter than we can imagine, he will come to know soon that all colours were indeed available and that he was lied to. Besides, he will be grown up soon and learn to cook up stories to tell us to have what he wants. Are we okay with that? Of course, we are not!
So, there had to be a revised plan -one that may be relatively more difficult but is surely one that will help build a stronger bond with our son. We will tell him the truth and try to convince him, using the same logic through which we ourselves like the blue color, or perhaps understand his point of view. I am positive we will be able to come to a conclusion either way.
Perhaps we all think of getting by with children at times but it's those times when we need to remember – Those small eyes and ears are learning from every interaction. Don’t even THINK of bluffing them!
| Aug 13, 2015
Well said. Building trust in parent child relationship is one of the most important aspects in parenting. It makes them feel secured and they will also start listening to us. It's better to avoid even the white lies with little ones as they may not understand why we say and they may also not know when to say.