Parenting

My early days as a mommy...Swati shares a piece of her life

Swati Raj Chauhan
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Created by Swati Raj Chauhan
Updated on Apr 17, 2017

My early days as a mommySwati shares a piece of her life

I had an arranged marriage to a man who was a complete stranger to me. And then suddenly I had to manage everything—my new relatives, a new husband, and a new career on top of it all.

Though I was told to treat my in-laws as if they were my own parents, I was battling with questions and doubts like, would they ever think of me as their own daughter? Will they think about my future? Will they judge my nature, behaviour and ‘character’? It was kind of weird when they asked me whether I knew how to ‘respect people’ or how to drape a saree, but to maintain peace at home, I ignored these questions.  

But the demands were not to stop there.From the first day post-marriage, my in-laws started dropping hints about making them grandparents. I am a working woman, and after a hectic 9-10 hours of a gruelling day at work, these questions were just making me mad. However, I managed to keep my calm. The times I did retaliate,my mother-in-law she used  to say,“tumhe bas paida hi to karna hai; paal hum lenge”.

For two long years she pestered me; finally we relented and I conceived. In all this, my husband was not keen or ready for this pregnancy, but I convinced him and finally gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. But it was not that simple—even after 2-3 hours of labour pains, I didn’t get to hold my baby. Instead, I was told that although I had delivered a baby boy, there were some breathing issues and he had been admitted in an another hospital 45 kms away!

I was heartbroken to hear the news and kept praying for my son’s wellbeing. Finally God heard my prayers and my baby was handed over to me. And once I held my baby, I forgot all the pain and held him close to my chest. But the difficulties were not to end there, as I realised that my milk was not sufficient, and my MIL wanted me to only breastfeed him.

I ignored her and started formula feeds as I couldn’t bear to see my baby crying. Today, my boy is healthy and active as per his age and is being brought up my mom – his naani. My MIL who used to say that “tumhe to bas paida hi karna hai" – doesn’t even stay with us, forget about taking care of the child. It was my own mother who came to my rescue and took my son with her to bring him up the  proper way.

This is my story, but I know it’s a common story. Do you have any similar stories to share? Tell us in the comments section below how you overcame hurdles like this!

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| Apr 23, 2017

I also face the same issue just I stay with mil so my mom can't come and help. I don't get any help so and so not even washing hid one spoon of baby on top they have 4 pets so I can't even leave him down be on top floors only too bad kitchen is down so when alone great difficulty in preparing his feed.

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| Apr 19, 2017

I face the same thing. just change is MIL stay with us but not supported.

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