Signs to recognise that your teen has a crush and how to deal with it?

Was it just yesterday when the nurse had handed over your little bundle of joy?Was it yesterday when the mere mention of opposite gender brought out strong reactions like –“I don’t like girls or boys?” Cut to present and your teen is floating on a cloud nine and talking about that one particular girl/boy. Well your teen has developed a crush and it is up to you how you handle it so that you strengthen your relation with him or her.

What Are The Signs To Know That Your Teen Has A Crush?

While these will all be subtle signs, as a parent if you observe your child closely you would know that he or she is crushing on the opposite sex. First let us know those subtle signs and then see if your son or daughter are exhibiting some or all these signs or not.

1. New interest has cropped up: They suddenly have an interest in something that they didn’t before. If your child shows interest in certain topics that didn’t fascinate him before, you can now he is crushing on someone who shares a similar interest. For example, your child might suddenly favour the game of cricket and will surprisingly have a favourite team just because his crush has the same liking for the game and the team. There is nothing to do with cricket here but the fact that your child’s crush has interest in the same
2. Cautious about dressing up: When your casual dresser starts paying attention to clothes – you can guess there is something going on his or her life. Your daughter will start paying more attention to her dresses and your son will become cautious about what colour shirt he wears with dark/light trousers
3. New genre of music excites him or her: Well, this one is a dead giveaway. How? Well if your teen who is into ghazals and the likes start listening to other genre like movie songs then his or her taste has got nothing to do with the fact that he or she has changed the preference, it just means that he or she is listening to the music appreciated by his or her crush. For instance, my friend in her college days used to listen to all these boybands but the guy she had a crush on was a hard core rock fan. Not surprisingly my friend also started appreciating the rock music
4. Seeking privacy, a little too often: When suddenly your all too social child start seeking excuses to go to his or her room citing some privacy you can know that he or she has developed a crush
5. Lost in their fantasies: Sometimes you will find that your teen is sitting with a book in front of him or her for an hour but the page has not been turned. Then your teen is crushing over someone and is lost in his or her thoughts while pretending to study or read or whatever he or she is doing
6. Hesitant to reveal the whereabouts: No matter how good you connect with your teen, when he or she is crushing, you will find that he or she is hesitating to reveal the whereabouts. Not because he or she doesn’t want to tell you but because he or she wants to keep this part of the live private
7. Ever ready to do your outside errands: Your child might play pretend house with his friends, including his crush as the idea of marriage and living together appeals to them. It is their way of playing to express their feelings to their crush which is normal
8. Conversation revolves around the crush: Your child suddenly starts discussing their crush with you. They would love to talk about their crush’s likes and dislikes and what they are up to and so on. If you hear too much about the same then your child might be crushing on that person

How Can You Deal With It Positively?

After you have recognized the signs of your teen having a crush on someone, it is time for some action from your side. Here’s how you can handle the situation best possible way.

1. Crushing is a normal part of growing up: Let your teen understand that crushing is a normal part of growing up and while the feelings are true it is not the time to think about marriage or something. However, while talking to your teen that you are not sounding as authoritative but rather friendly. Talk to them and tell them that it is good to enjoy the feeling and to go with the flow
2. Heartbreaks are not setbacks: Another thing to let your teen know is that heartbreak is not a setback and that he or she needs to move on in life. Yes, it will take some time to bounce back but bounce back he or she will. So don’t hurry up the process but just be there for your teen when he or she is nursing a heartbreak
3. Know the boundaries: These days social and electronic media have made it normal for teenagers and little ones to show their affection to opposite gender through kisses. So your child might find it normal too but it is essential for you to talk to them about the same and tell them how kissing is the worst thing he can probably do. Tell him how talking to their crush is fine but showing affection in physical form will only invite troubles and make the scenario worst if the crush doesn’t show signs of mutual feelings
4. No inappropriate texting: In case your teen has a mobile phone then let him or her know about inappropriate texting. You should tell your teen son not to girl post 8 pm and your daughter not to take any calls post 8 pm to maintain the dignity. Your child might also show interest in watching movies with his crush but you must set limits in each and every matter before things get worse
5. Respect your teen’s feelings and emotions: While these infatuations do not last for a long and your teen will usually get over it, as a parent it is your responsibility to stay queued in his or her life so that you can guide better. Be gentle in your dealings with him or her, as showing anger towards him or her for infatuation will only urge him or her to act in the opposite way

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