“Don’t Want My Daughter To Become A …” Kiara Advani On Parenting Daughter Saraayah

When you become a mother, your life changes in countless ways. Knowingly or unknowingly, you begin to adapt to the new role, which is physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding. The transition from your old self to this new one can be overwhelming.

In a recent podcast with Raj Shamani on the eve of Mother’s Day, actress Kiara Advani candidly spoke about how her life changed after becoming a mother and the values she wishes to pass on to her daughter, Saraayah Malhotra.

What Kiara Learned From Her Parents

Kiara reflected on being raised by her parents in a loving and supportive environment.

“I think I was brought up with a lot of love. I never really had to ask for attention because my parents were always there for me,” she told Raj Shamani.

Talking about her parents’ resilience and hard work, Kiara shared that both her parents are self-made. Her mother ran a play school for little children. Her father had to drop out of college and start earning money at a young age, as he lost his parents when he was just 18.

She further added that despite being working professionals, her parents were “always present.”

“Whether it was dropping us off at the bus stop, sitting with my friends, or being available emotionally, they were always present; all my friends loved my parents.”

Kiara watched her parents prioritise their family despite all the challenges, and that became her “ideal picture of life.”

How Becoming A Mother Changed Kiara

Kiara revealed that after becoming a mother, she has started to respect and value her parents even more because motherhood has completely changed the way she sees them.

“Today, after having my own baby, I value my mom and dad even more. When you become a parent, you suddenly understand your parents differently.”

Kiara also shared that she sometimes feels guilty because of how much her parents chose to overlook. They were not very strict, yet they were quite firm when it came to core values and respect.

“We got scolded a lot, but never really hit. My brother and I used to fight and wrestle all the time. But the important thing was the values they gave us. My mom cared more about me being respectful and well-mannered than just grades.”

Seeking Validation From Her Parents

Kiara revealed that seeking validation from her parents is of utmost importance even after becoming a successful actor and a mom herself.

“Till date. Validation from the world is one thing, but validation from your parents is completely different. They never put pressure on me, but somewhere you always want to make them proud,” she revealed.

One Quality She Doesn’t Want Saraayah To Have

During the conversation, the host highlighted how children who are raised in loving homes tend to become people pleasers. To this, Kiara agreed and added, “I think when there is a lot of love and safety at home, children naturally don't want to disappoint their parents. You seek that validation. But awareness is important too because sometimes these patterns can turn into people-pleasing tendencies.”

Kiara shared that she realised this only after getting married and becoming a mom.

“Awareness is the first step to changing anything. Post marriage and motherhood, I have become more aware of certain habits and patterns in myself. Your partner and your child become mirrors that help you see yourself differently.”

While Kiara wants to raise her daughter in a loving and emotionally safe environment, she doesn't want her to become a “people pleaser” like herself.

“I want her to feel safe enough to tell us anything. That’s the biggest blessing I had growing up. Even if I did something wrong, I could still tell my parents. I want my daughter to always feel she can come home and talk to us without fear.”

She then added, “I definitely don’t want her to become a people pleaser like me. But more than that, I want her to be curious, observant, loving, and confident enough to make her own choices.”