7 Habits of highly effective dads!

My dad once asked me: “Now that you are a Dad yourself, would you bring up your children any differently than how I brought you up?” The question had me thinking… “Would I?” And if yes, then in what way would it be different?  I did think, after all, that he’d done fine as a dad - in fact, I had always thought of him as my hero! But yes, it got me thinking…and thinking to the point that I actually penned down the 7 habits of highly effective dads – it is for all those dads out there who wish to do more their child…

1. A: Accept  – Clearly, my child is different from whom I expect him to be. My child is not merely an extension of me. So please accept your child for who s/he is. Once your child knows that, s/he can conquer the world.

2.  B: Believe – Don’t quash your child’s dreams before they take wings. Don’t ignore cut your child off when s/he tells you something whimsical or unrealistic. Listen more and talk less. That would boost your child’s confidence to a totally different level and develop the greatest quality a child can have – ‘wonder’!

3. C: Care – Your child is not a task to be checked off. He or she is a human being who needs to be taken care of with loads of love, tenderness, and affection. 

4. D: Don’t decide everything –  Don’t decide everything your child does – from not seeing Grandpa or some aunt just because you had some temporary discords with them. Don’t decide what books they ‘must’ read. Draw a line and you will help your child become a far superior decision maker when s/he grows up – let the small decisions be your child’s.

5. E: Easy way out?  –  Trust me, your child wants to know more from you about those taboo topics – sex, drugs, smoking and drinking. You cannot take the easy way out and not talk about all this with your child. If you avoid, you are taking a risk of pushing your child to seek out this information from other not-so-trustworthy sources, such as searching things online, asking friends who might say anything or worse, trying it out!

6. F: Be more fun – Please take out the time to have more fun together, more one-on-one time, more outings – just you and your child (no mommy either!). I have the fondest memories of the times my Dad and I played Carom together – the memories are embedded in a peaceful part of my heart which I dig into whenever I need comfort and assurance and I intend to provide many such comforting and reassuring moments to my child.

7. G : Be good – Don’t just be good with your child, but with everyone, especially the person who means the world to your child – Mommy! Don’t quarrel with your spouse, especially in front of your child. Be kind to the world and your child will pick up the same from you; lead by example.

So the dream actually opened up new possibilities for creating a more cherishable relationship with my child. I hope my learning help fellow dads achieve the same… what else would you add to this checklist on ‘how to be a super dad’ – would love to hear some of the things that are helping you in your journey.