Confessions Of A Pregnant Mom — Cry It Out Loud

Hi, I am Zahirah, a first-time mom, navigating the chaos and beauty of pregnancy. Confessions Of A Pregnant Mom' is my honest little corner where I share the real, raw, and sometimes ridiculous moments of this journey. 

It’s day 122 of my pregnancy, and I seem to be stuck in a never-ending loop of imagining the most random, crazy, emotional, sometimes downright absurd scenarios and crying over them.

At times, it becomes hard to hold back my tears even when someone asks something as simple as ‘How are you feeling?’ I don’t want people to see me like this, emotional and on the verge of crying, because that’s just not me.

The truth is, that’s not even the worst part. Most of the time, I don't really know why I’m crying.

My husband, unfortunately, has to witness most of these emotional breakdowns. Almost 95% of them. He has now given up on trying to figure out why I am crying because every time he asks, the answer is “I don’t know”.

Sometimes, he even asks me to swear on him and explain. But what can I say? I really have no clue why I cry, and the fact that I don't, makes me wanna cry more.

Other times, I do know the reason, but I find it too silly to share. For instance,

Not being able to eat momos because they make my stomach upset

Not getting that perfect crease while ironing my trousers

Not fitting into clothes that I never wore, even when they fit

Watching emotional reels on Instagram. (I swear I feel like I am becoming my mom)

My husband has actual videos of my emotional breakdowns (not all, though). He records them and plays them back to make me laugh when the next emotional outbreak strikes. And it works.

Sometimes he even blackmails me, saying he’ll show them to our baby as proof that I’ve always been a little extra.

In one of the videos, I am crying because I forgot to fill the water bottle and put it in the fridge, and now I didn’t have cold water to drink.

Stop judging me already!

It’s not like I am cranky 24x7. There are times when I laugh without any reason, get angry at the slightest inconvenience, start singing in the middle of the night, and get overexcited about someone giving me candies.

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