Parenting

3 Reasons why comparison is not good for your child

Ridhi Doomra
3 to 7 years

Created by Ridhi Doomra
Updated on Oct 05, 2016

3 Reasons why comparison is not good for your child

“Look at Geeta aunty’s son, he has secured full marks in maths. Your friend Ashish stood first in singing. Why don’t you anything seriously. Start paying attention to your studies or other activities rather than just roaming here and there”, nagged Rohit’s mom. Though there is an underlying concern in Rohit’s mom’s voice, she is unaware that she is unknowingly hurting Rohit’s feelings with these verbal statements.

“Why my child is not eating properly? Why is her health not as good as other children of her age? I am giving her the best diet, full of nutrition but why she doesn’t look as healthy as her friends?

I am sure you as a mother must also have had similar thoughts. But did you know that thinking these thoughts are of no use. Doctors say that every child has their own growth rate. There are early developers, slow bloomers and steady-as-you-go child in every group, so comparing your child's results or performance can be completely unrealistic.

 There are so many reasons not to compare your child to others. Whether it's to a sibling or the child of a friend, subjecting your child to comparisons damages their self-esteem and makes them feel inadequate. Yet many parents feel it somehow reflects on their child or themselves if their child isn't as 'good’ as others.

1. Self esteem suffers: One of the really important reasons not to compare your child to others is that it hits her self-esteem hard. How would you like to be constantly compared to others? Low self-esteem issues usually have their root in childhood, so don't make your child feel that they're inferior to others as others.

2. Comparisons make her resentful: Direct comparisons can make a child feel very resentful. When it's made clear to them that they're not as good as a sibling at something, they not only feel bitter towards you, but also towards the sibling. Do you really want to foster antagonism between your children? No you do not. So avoid comparisons

3. Each child is an individual: Understand that each child is different and has her own talents and interests. Why does it matter if one child is musical and another isn't? The non-musical child may be good at sports or love reading. One thing is not better than another, and neither is one child better than another. Let them develop their own interests and abilities. They should not feel that they have to be more like a sibling or your friend's child.

As parents you must not only stand with our child but let her know that you are there with her in whatever she decides and choose. 

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| Feb 12, 2017

rgt .I also do same thing. compare my child with another child. my son is less active and dnt have sharp mind like another child .all kids in his Lkg class age wise 3,4 months difference with him

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| Feb 08, 2017

my two year old daughter cough 6 to 8 times rigorously at one stretch and having sore throat. she s prescribed to have mucolite drops by pediatric doctor. she suffers from this for last five days. can anyone suggest a remedy??

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| Feb 07, 2017

very true but it is quite obvious.

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| Feb 07, 2017

fact but often doing with my child.. thought so many times to stop repeating this but didnt... blog seems a senior citizen advice to not to repeat it.. thk u

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| Feb 07, 2017

Besides nowing all the bad consequences of comprisions I do it again and again... its very suddend didn't want to but happens automatically... Ur blog giving more strength will not do it definitely from now onwards....

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| Feb 07, 2017

very true.... every child have there own quality. ...

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| Feb 07, 2017

vry good article....... evry individual is different so no comparision can b done n if its impact is so negetive on kids it has to b avoided..... lets just love our kids n b a positive n encouraging example fr them..

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| Jan 31, 2017

well said.. absolutely ryt

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| Dec 20, 2016

very true

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| Nov 12, 2016

very helpful. . nd well said

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| Oct 09, 2016

absolutely correct... why shd we compare?only a single word dt ur too good dear will mk our child more better.. Our attention will gv a lotzzz of courage to them... so instead of comparing we should gv more time more attention to our babies dt dey can enjoy dere childyy tym to d fullest as it will never come again...

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| Oct 05, 2016

very nice.

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