5 top fears every new mother has
Created by Nandini Muralidharan Updated on Feb 16, 2020
Pregnancy was great, you were glowing, you were pampered and you mentally (maybe even really) did up the nursery with fairies and unicorns imagea. When the bundle of joy arrived, she brought with her a range of emotions you never imagined you’d feel. You expected to feel gushing love instinctively, however, it didn’t happen that way, instead you got scared. And let’s face it most of us would rather not talk about what we really feel, once reality begins to sink in.
‘I don’t look good’: This is one of the worst fears almost every new mother has, and trust me, I too have spent a better part of my baby’s nap time obsessing over my ‘out-of-shape’ body. But then something wonderful happened. My husband took me to the mirror and pointed out the beautiful almond eyes my baby got from me, the (if-I-may-say-so-myself) gorgeous smile and brown hair. But that wasn’t the best part. He reminded me about the fabulous thing my body had done and the fighter that it was. So, before you start getting body blues and think that you are no longer attractive to your husband then you need to rethink. And start taking care of your beautiful body – eat healthy, exercise to the extent possible and enjoy the fruits of what you’ve done.
Also read: A guide for all mothers to keep fit
‘I can’t seem to bond with my baby’– Fear not, new moms! All of us have gone through this. Everything is new, right from feeding, changing and pacifying the baby to handling the new grandparents. Our extended family only wants to help, but sometimes need gentle reminders that you as a new mom would like to have some alone time with the baby, even if it is just a short stroll or bath time. And if you’re afraid that your baby won’t love you, push those thoughts out. She knows her mama, and she loves you.
‘My career will take a backseat’– There is an undue pressure on women to fit in a certain label these days. ‘Stay-at-home’ moms are thought to be martyrs who have ‘sacrificed’ their careers, and ‘working’ moms to be either super-women or cruel you-know-whats! Think about it, your career only takes the direction you let it take. There are women who start off by working from their homes and getting back to the desk only when they’re comfortable leaving their babies with family or at a crèche. There are those who start soon after their maternity break and perform skilful acts of juggling. Do what lets you sleep peacefully at night.
‘Is my marriage over?’ – New parenthood will definitely challenge your relationship and it won’t be same anymore. Don’t get me wrong – having a baby is a balance of tough and delightful moments that you and your husband share with each other. If you are a new mom then he is a new dad, and trust me he is missing his wife as much, and wants to chip in with you but is scared just like you. Hence it is always better to talk to him and discuss whatever is troubling you and wherever you need his help and support just to ensure that you both are on the same team.
‘Will I hurt my baby?’ – One of the most common fears amongst new moms and the least expressed as well, because of the tag that you are a bad mommy. However, it is important to understand here that it is pretty okay to think like this, as your patience is being tested with every new challenge your baby throws at you. But in case if you feel that you are constantly angry and are bending towards negativity then do seek help so that you don’t get bogged down by post-partum depression, an extremely real and highly ignored problem faced by several new moms.
| Aug 04, 2016
hello i m also suffering from post marden depression... n seeking the help of a psyc... hpw can i overcome from it actually i dont hv support from my in laws... i m managing all the things alone i love my baby bt still sometimes i go through this problem again...