Parenting

5 Ways To Handle Sibling Rivalry Effectively

Swati Nitin Gupta
7 to 11 years

Created by Swati Nitin Gupta
Updated on Jan 25, 2019

5 Ways To Handle Sibling Rivalry Effectively
Reviewed by Expert panel

Sibling rivalry is one of the most pressing issues for the parents of two or more children. Most of the time parents are clueless on how to handle the situation. In cases where the age difference between the siblings is more than three years, the problem aggravates. Read on to find out how you can deal with sibling rivalry among your children.

How To Handle Sibling Rivalry Among Your Children?

Here are 5 simple yet effective ways to handle the sibling rivalry and nip it at the bud.

  1. Feeling of importance

    Generally sibling rivalry starts when the new baby comes home and the parents along with other relatives and friends start fussing around the new born. The elder child feels neglected, unimportant and unwanted thus resenting his or her new brother/sister.

    Solution:

    Make your elder child feel important and loved by appreciating him or her in front of relatives and friends. Don’t nag him or her either in front of relatives or friends, as that will only aggravate the situation
  2. Give him authority

    It is usually seen that parents especially mothers are always saying ‘don’t do this or don’t do that’ to their elder child. More so when the elder child wants to do something for the sibling and this constant nagging creates a feeling of resentment for the sibling in them.

    Solution:

    Assign the elder child some responsibilities like taking care of the sibling while you quickly wrap up some work. Let them know that you alone will not be able to take care of the toddler and hence you need the elder child’s assistance
  3. Equal attention

    It is quite natural that you will spend more time with the younger child, as they need you more. However, in spending more time with the younger one, please do remember that your elder child is also a child who needs his or her mother equally. Either hire a maid or ask your mother or mother-in-law to pitch in to take care of the younger one, while you spend some quality time with your elder child. Talk to him or her about their school
  4. Involve both children

    While letting the children play individually might seem like a good idea, it is also necessary to have some activities that involve both the children simultaneously.

    Solution:

    Let them play a game that involves both, allowing the children to decide who takes what role. The idea is to ensure that the siblings get comfortable around each other
  5. No comparisons

    No two children are similar. Remember that and respect their individuality. Don’t compare your elder child to the younger child or your younger child to the elder one. It would only increase the resentment and will not serve any purpose.

    Solution:

    Learn to appreciate their differences. While your elder child might be academically inclined, your younger child might have a creative bent to his mind. So appreciate that and see how your children grow and prosper. Comparing each other will only increase the resentment between them

Did you find this blog on handling sibling rivalry, useful? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section!

This content has been checked & validated by Doctors and Experts of the parentune Expert panel. Our panel consists of Neonatologist, Gynecologist, Peadiatrician, Nutritionist, Child Counselor, Education & Learning Expert, Physiotherapist, Learning disability Expert and Developmental Pead.

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| Apr 13, 2016

Helpful tips, thanks Swati

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| Apr 18, 2016

Nice tips. thank u .

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| Apr 18, 2016

thank you Swati for these tips.

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| May 24, 2016

Nice tips... thanks

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| May 27, 2016

Nice tips

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| Jun 10, 2016

very helpful tips . thnk u

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| Jun 11, 2016

superb thx

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| Jun 12, 2016

thank u.. these tips will definitely help parents..

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| Jun 14, 2016

very interesting topic....

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| Jun 14, 2016

nice tips

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| Jun 14, 2016

thank u so much... for the tips.. i am relaxed now coz even i am doing the same

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| Jun 15, 2016

In my case .....as i conceive d 2nd child ... I started telling my son that now another 1 is coming who would b your friend... who would play with u whenever u want . d baby will sleep with u & hv food with u ... He/she will love u very much.... so u hv 2 take care of this baby..... so as there will b another little 1 ...u will b a big person like us ..coz there will b another little 1 who will b younger than u........ u r our baby bt this baby will b your baby ..... so as a result ...my son counted d days more than me.... he was so excited for this baby i can't tell u.... so as i took initiative early i didn't face any such problems....... I'm sooo happy with my 2 kids..

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| Jul 15, 2016

Hey my elder one is of two years and younger one is of 10 months... very close in age... elder one at times will b nice but all of a sudden he will start hitting younger one.. elder one is also not jn a stage to understand what I am saying about little one... very much concerned about this need help

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| Aug 26, 2016

Helps a lot

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| Aug 26, 2016

very helpful post... it was a big issue for me.. but now i think i can handle it better

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| Sep 04, 2016

I have twin boys of age 7yr n 6 months. sibbling rivalry is a problem

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| Sep 04, 2016

I have twin boys of age 7yr n 6 months. sibbling rivalry is a problem

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| Oct 29, 2016

I have two kids with older one 8 yrs daughter and younger son of 10 months , same problem and we r actually out of India now so no maid or relative, me and my husband only do all duties and we are really v. much overloaded upto extend of body pain etc.. pl suggest how to tackle all peace fully..

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| Nov 14, 2016

thanks alot for these wonderful tips.

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| Jan 23, 2017

Thank you so much

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| Jan 24, 2017

Thank u so much

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| Feb 26, 2017

Now I came to know what mistake I was doing. thanks

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| Mar 20, 2017

thank you so much

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| Mar 21, 2017

very true... thanks

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| Mar 30, 2017

very true n thanks

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| Mar 30, 2017

thanks a lot... .. ..

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| Apr 02, 2017

thank u

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| Apr 09, 2017

thank u

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| Apr 11, 2017

very gud guidance . thanks​

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| Apr 16, 2017

thank you.....

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| Apr 16, 2017

Thanks

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| Apr 30, 2017

its very helpful. thank u

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| May 06, 2017

Need some tips to handle younger one who is not adjusting with her sister

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| May 09, 2017

I appreciate your ideas!

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| May 09, 2017

I m facing the same problem I will try those ideas

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| May 15, 2017

Thank you.

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| May 19, 2017

thank you... was facing this problem

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| May 27, 2017

will need further write-ups in this regard .... nevertheless this one is also get.... let me try it

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| Jun 25, 2017

thanku soo much...

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| Jul 21, 2017

thank you so much mam. . it will really help a lot

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| Aug 15, 2017

thanks for your suggestion.

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| Sep 22, 2017

good tricks... thanks

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| Sep 22, 2017

good tricks... thanks

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| Oct 19, 2017

nice tricks...... this ll help alot.

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| Oct 19, 2017

nice tricks...... this ll help alot.

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| Dec 02, 2017

thanks

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| Dec 03, 2017

my son is 12+he wants a personal pH should I gave him or not actually Maine usko check Karne k liye promise Kiya ki agar aap apna behaviour achha karoge to apko pH milega usne aisa Kiya bhi iss chng ko m ek achha sign samjhu y pH k. liye bachhe ki crazyness pls tell me

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| Mar 29, 2018

thanks

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| Mar 29, 2018

thanks

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