Parenting

5 ways to handle sibling rivalry effectively

Swati Nitin Gupta
7 to 11 years

Created by Swati Nitin Gupta
Updated on May 06, 2017

5 ways to handle sibling rivalry effectively

Sibling rivalry is one of the most pressing issues for the parents of two or more children. Most of the time parents are clueless on how to handle the situation. In cases where the age difference between the siblings is more than three years, the problem aggravates. Here are 5 simple yet effective ways to handle the sibling rivalry and nip it at the bud.

1. Feeling of importance

Generally sibling rivalry starts when the new baby comes home and the parents along with other relatives and friends start fussing around the new born. The elder child feels neglected, unimportant and unwanted thus resenting his or her new brother/sister.

Solution: Make your elder child feel important and loved by appreciating him or her in front of relatives and friends. Don’t nag him or her either in front of relatives or friends, as that will only aggravate the situation.

2. Give him authority

It is usually seen that parents especially mothers are always saying ‘don’t do this or don’t do that’ to their elder child. More so when the elder child wants to do something for the sibling and this constant nagging creates a feeling of resentment for the sibling in them.

Solution: Assign the elder child some responsibilities like taking care of the sibling while you quickly wrap up some work. Let them know that you alone will not be able to take care of the toddler and hence you need the elder child’s assistance.

3. Equal attention

It is quite natural that you will spend more time with the younger child, as they need you more. However, in spending more time with the younger one, please do remember that your elder child is also a child who needs his or her mother equally.

Solution: Don’t nag if he or she starts behaving irrationally according to you. Either hire a maid or ask your mother or mother-in-law to pitch in to take care of the younger one, while you spend some quality time with your elder child. Talk to him or her about their school.

4. Involve both children

While letting the children play individually might seem like a good idea, it is also necessary to have some activities that involve both the children simultaneously.

Solution: Let them play a game that involves both, allowing the children to decide who takes what role. The idea is to ensure that the siblings get comfortable around each other.

5. No comparisons

No two children are similar. Remember that and respect their individuality. Don’t compare your elder child to the younger child or your younger child to the elder one. It would only increase the resentment and will not serve any purpose.

Solution: Learn to appreciate their differences. While your elder child might be academically inclined, your younger child might have a creative bent to his mind. So appreciate that and see how your children grow and prosper. Comparing each other will only increase the resentment between them. 

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| Dec 03, 2017

my son is 12+he wants a personal pH should I gave him or not actually Maine usko check Karne k liye promise Kiya ki agar aap apna behaviour achha karoge to apko pH milega usne aisa Kiya bhi iss chng ko m ek achha sign samjhu y pH k. liye bachhe ki crazyness pls tell me

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| Dec 02, 2017

thanks

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| Oct 19, 2017

nice tricks...... this ll help alot.

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| Oct 19, 2017

nice tricks...... this ll help alot.

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| Sep 22, 2017

good tricks... thanks

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| Sep 22, 2017

good tricks... thanks

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| Aug 15, 2017

thanks for your suggestion.

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| Jul 21, 2017

thank you so much mam. . it will really help a lot

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| Jun 25, 2017

thanku soo much...

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| May 27, 2017

will need further write-ups in this regard .... nevertheless this one is also get.... let me try it

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| May 19, 2017

thank you... was facing this problem

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| May 15, 2017

Thank you.

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| May 09, 2017

I m facing the same problem I will try those ideas

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| May 09, 2017

I appreciate your ideas!

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| May 06, 2017

Need some tips to handle younger one who is not adjusting with her sister

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| Apr 30, 2017

its very helpful. thank u

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| Apr 16, 2017

Thanks

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| Apr 16, 2017

thank you.....

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| Apr 11, 2017

very gud guidance . thanks​

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| Apr 09, 2017

thank u

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| Apr 02, 2017

thank u

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| Mar 30, 2017

thanks a lot... .. ..

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| Mar 30, 2017

very true n thanks

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| Mar 21, 2017

very true... thanks

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| Mar 20, 2017

thank you so much

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| Feb 26, 2017

Now I came to know what mistake I was doing. thanks

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| Jan 24, 2017

Thank u so much

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| Jan 23, 2017

Thank you so much

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| Nov 14, 2016

thanks alot for these wonderful tips.

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| Oct 29, 2016

I have two kids with older one 8 yrs daughter and younger son of 10 months , same problem and we r actually out of India now so no maid or relative, me and my husband only do all duties and we are really v. much overloaded upto extend of body pain etc.. pl suggest how to tackle all peace fully..

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| Sep 04, 2016

I have twin boys of age 7yr n 6 months. sibbling rivalry is a problem

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| Sep 04, 2016

I have twin boys of age 7yr n 6 months. sibbling rivalry is a problem

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| Aug 26, 2016

very helpful post... it was a big issue for me.. but now i think i can handle it better

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| Aug 26, 2016

Helps a lot

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| Jul 15, 2016

Hey my elder one is of two years and younger one is of 10 months... very close in age... elder one at times will b nice but all of a sudden he will start hitting younger one.. elder one is also not jn a stage to understand what I am saying about little one... very much concerned about this need help

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| Jun 15, 2016

In my case .....as i conceive d 2nd child ... I started telling my son that now another 1 is coming who would b your friend... who would play with u whenever u want . d baby will sleep with u & hv food with u ... He/she will love u very much.... so u hv 2 take care of this baby..... so as there will b another little 1 ...u will b a big person like us ..coz there will b another little 1 who will b younger than u........ u r our baby bt this baby will b your baby ..... so as a result ...my son counted d days more than me.... he was so excited for this baby i can't tell u.... so as i took initiative early i didn't face any such problems....... I'm sooo happy with my 2 kids..

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| Jun 14, 2016

thank u so much... for the tips.. i am relaxed now coz even i am doing the same

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| Jun 14, 2016

nice tips

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| Jun 14, 2016

very interesting topic....

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| Jun 12, 2016

thank u.. these tips will definitely help parents..

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| Jun 11, 2016

superb thx

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| Jun 10, 2016

very helpful tips . thnk u

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| May 27, 2016

Nice tips

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| May 24, 2016

Nice tips... thanks

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| Apr 18, 2016

thank you Swati for these tips.

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| Apr 18, 2016

Nice tips. thank u .

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| Apr 13, 2016

Helpful tips, thanks Swati

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