"Want To Do Life With Her”: A Parenting Journey Rooted In Curiosity, Culture And Care

For Esther Lalrinzuali (38) and Hari Shankar (39), being parents isn’t just about raising a child – they’re rediscovering life, culture and happiness, through their daughter, Akira’s eyes.

At two years old, Akira is already full of curiosity and personality. “She wants to do everything herself,” laughs Esther. “She surprises us every day, through the things she says or how observant she is. We're just enjoying getting to know who she is becoming –  her own person.”

Hari and Esther met while studying at Delhi College of Arts and Commerce. They come from different cultural backgrounds, Esther is from Mizoram and Hari is from Kerala. They lived in South Delhi for most of their lives, but decided to shift to a society, when Akira was born. 

Parenting, they both agree, has been a “learn-on-the-job” experience. Esther recalls the early days being filled with anxiety, and information overload. “I read a lot, and watched a lot of videos. I had strict rules about sleep and feeding windows, and sometimes her grandparents would tip toe around me,” she says. “But in trying to follow everything perfectly, I forgot to enjoy her just being a baby. I was very bothered every time she cried. I was so scared to hold her. I wish I held her more as a baby.”

From navigating infant colic to toddler tantrums, her biggest learning, Esther says, has been emotional regulation. “You realize your child learns to regulate emotions by watching you. So we now take deep breaths, and stay calm, even through meltdowns.”

Becoming parents is a full time job, and Akira takes up their whole lives. As parents, they’re constantly communicating, with date nights also turning into parenting strategy sessions!

Bonding over books is one of their favourite things to do as a family. Akira loves being read to and is already a fan of Studio Ghibli films. “She calls Kiki’s Delivery Service ‘my delivery service’ as her nickname is Kiki,” smiles Esther. They even took her to a metal concert recently. “Akira had a ball!”

The couple is intentional about exposing Akira to both their cultures and beyond. They’ve celebrated Christmas, Onam, and Halloween. Hari added, “We want her to choose what she resonates with, and finds joy in.”

In a detour from the constant glorification and romanticising of motherhood, Esther added that it is the hardest thing she’s ever done, but also very beautiful. 

“You feel this immense responsibility, not just to raise a child, but to raise a kind, aware human being,” they said, and that’s what keeps them going.