One Toddler, One Infant, One Dog: How This Couple Is Making It Work Without A Nanny

In a Noida apartment, when Hunar Govil comes back home from office, he’s welcomed by three eager greetings – their two-year-old toddler Hanvika, a crawling infant Anay and tail-wagging Tizzy. “That’s my favourite part of the day,” he smiles. 

Beyond some such sweet moments, parenting for Hunar and his wife Anchal, has been quite chaotic. It’s been about sleepless nights, chaotic mealtimes, toddler tantrums, managing a dog, and trying to sneak in two-minute bathroom breaks. All of this, without any nanny, childcare or extended family help.

Caring for their first child was a steep learning curve, but managing the second child came with an added condition – making sure the elder one never felt neglected. “I didn’t want even a seed of sibling rivalry. So even if the baby was crying and she needed me, I’d hold both of them in my arms,” Anchal says. She explained that it would also be her advice to parents expecting a second child. 

“The newborn won’t remember, but the older child will,” Hunar says. “Introduce the elder one to guests first. Include them in routines. Now, when I have to change diapers for the younger one, Hanvika rushes to the cupboard to get wipes and other things I’ll need.”

While they rely on domestic help for cleaning and cooking, they’ve opted to be their children’s primary caregivers. “It’s not that hiring a nanny, or putting children in daycare is wrong,” Anchal clarifies. “But for the foundation years, we wanted to do it all ourselves.” From seeing the sunrise while feeding one child, to waking up in three hours to get the other child dressed for school, to managing walks for the dog, parenting involves many maddening days for the couple. 

Parenting has changed Anchal and Hunar’s relationship, impacting how they spend time together and travel. Hunar says that one of the biggest things has been how little time he finds to spend time with Anchal alone. From travelling once every two months, travelling now involves lots of planning, preparation, packing and picking destinations on what the kids will enjoy. 

Despite parenting being all-consuming, Anchal says that when she holds both babies in two hands, and her dog comes and sits on her lap, it all starts to feel worth it. 

Stripped of its glamour and rooted in intention, Anchal and Hunar’s parenting journey is a testament to how parenting is all about balance, patience and enjoying the fleeting first few years.