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How to talk to your child about sex- Useful Inputs from Parents

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How to talk to your child about sex Useful Inputs from Parents

We often come across awkward situations, when an eager child, pops a question to us about sex. And then we are at a loss of words. This parenting blog shows how to answer these appropriately without giving the child wrong notions. Here we round up, in parents own experiences, how they have dealt with such questions.


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Sarab Khurana

| Sep 14, 2017

very helpful blog for confused parents thanks

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Sneha Moghe Tulaskar

| Sep 13, 2017

very well explained

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Sneha Moghe Tulaskar

| Sep 13, 2017

very well explained

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Shikha Batra

| May 15, 2017

thank u all for your valuable feedback. I am glad u all liked it and find it useful!

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Lavanya Brahadees

| May 15, 2017

Very nice information Thanks

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Shraddha Rajpal

| May 15, 2017

thanks for useful information

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Sushma

| May 15, 2017

Nice post !thanks and keep it up...

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Ekta Arora

| May 15, 2017

very useful information....

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Vaishali palekar

| May 15, 2017

very helpful. thanks you

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James Hmar

| May 15, 2017

nice job

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Ritika

| May 15, 2017

thank u for this post

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Ritika

| May 15, 2017

thanku for this post

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Jagruti Jain

| Jan 20, 2017

helpful

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pooja Parsewar

| Jan 20, 2017

helpful blog

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Shikha Jain

| Jan 20, 2017

thnku for sharing such a helpful article. ..

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Shikha Jaitly

| Jan 20, 2017

thank you very much for such useful piece of information

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Shilpi Maheshwari

| Jan 20, 2017

nice info

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Shilpa Harish

| Jan 20, 2017

Thank you, very helpful to make them understand...

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Chandana Dutta BHATTACHARYA

| Nov 16, 2016

thanks... v useful for me.

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Divya Kukreja Chhabra

| Nov 16, 2016

Very useful information thanks for sharing

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Chainika Shah

| Oct 09, 2016

very useful information, thanks a lot

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Hymavathi Tippalur

| Sep 02, 2016

useful information need to share with kids

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Jalpa Solanki

| Jul 21, 2016

very helpful article. I also go through this situation when my 4 year son asked all these questions but after reading this article now I will be able to give him appropriate answers. thanks for this article.

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preeti goyal

| Mar 13, 2016

hi ...i m join parentune today and i read this article,I am very impressed by this but my problem is that my 3 yrs old son very curious about my breast and his and his sister's(age 5+)private part. But I am not gave right answer to him .And now he didn't ask me anything. What I do now?

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preeti goyal

| Mar 13, 2016

hi ...i m join parentune today and i read this article,I am very impressed by this but my problem is that my 3 yrs old son very curious about my breast and his and his sister's(age 5+)private part. But I am not gave right answer to him .And now he didn't ask me anything. What I do now?

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sonali bhaduri

| Feb 14, 2016

Surely will help in due course of time..

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Debjani Halder

| Dec 28, 2015

Nice informations for all the mothers.

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Parvez Choudhari

| Dec 27, 2015

Thanks a lot for offering guidance on how to keep out kids informed about do's and dont's of sex education. Timing of what we say and how we say matters a lot as the child is evolving / growing up inhouse and within society. Moral values will build ethics.

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madhvi khurana

| Dec 05, 2015

Very informative

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PradnyaVilas Kasture

| Nov 02, 2015

Nice information which will help to teach my child

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Preeti Choudhary

| Nov 02, 2015

Excellent blog n nice way to teach child abt sex education

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Sutirtha Guha

| Oct 15, 2015

Nice blog ! The idea should be to be able to shed our inhibitions and educate right things to the child. I did this recently when my 6 year old started touching other's private parts or exposing his own. Got to understand that a child is always curious about what others possess and why. I took some time to show him animated male and female body parts and explain it to him without too much details. Also cautioned him against any outsider touching private parts. Once I have quenched his curiosity, its easy to get him to behave :)

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Richasingh

| Sep 28, 2015

Hi My son is 7 years old, till now he doesn't know difference in boys and girls( private parts). i got to know about it when he saw a baby girl while her mom was changing her diaper and he said " she is too young that is why her private part is not grown". i was awstuck at the moment and couldn't correct him in public. Now i dread this question again. Please suggest how should i explain him without making him think too much about it.

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Shikha Batra

| Sep 21, 2015

Thanks Karuna Madan and Sonal Shinde for yr feedback. I am glad u found this blog useful!

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Shikha Batra

| Sep 21, 2015

Hi Sandhya Soni! Welcome to Parentune! U could begin discussion with yr children about private body parts and 'good touch as well as bad touch' though details used should be age specific. You could try discussing in appropriate situation using age appropriate language. Please don't discuss with all of them together as questions raised by one and details sought might not be suitable for others to know. u could discuss separately and take it as a ongoing process. Avoid giving too much information in one go as it could be overwhelming for the child to deal with. U could make use of age appropriate books to explain if need be.. hope it helps!

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Shikha Batra

| Sep 21, 2015

Hi Priya Rajpal! Yes at 5 years of age its natural for a child to ask questions regarding how MOMMY knows it's a boy or girl. Tell yr child it's through body parts one gets to know it's a girl or a boy. Use exact terms such vagina and penis. Please Use the term private parts and also this is the appropriate time to teach about 'good touch and bad touch'.

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Shikha Batra

| Sep 21, 2015

Hi Jhuma Sarkar! 11 years of age is the appropriate time to discuss about giving information on private body parts. Use exact terms and u could tell yr child in age appropriate manner without going into details on how girls are different from boys as far as human anatomy is concerned.

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Sonal Shinde

| Sep 21, 2015

A wonderful article

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Priya Rajpal

| Sep 20, 2015

My almost 5 year old daugher often asks me this question - how does a mumma know if she has given birth to a baby boy or girl? All this while I have been beating around the bush trying to give her a suitable, age-specific answer. Any suggestions?

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Sandhya Soni

| Sep 20, 2015

Hii i joined parentune today only.. As i wanted to read this blog. It's really very nice, informative n educative. I have three kids age between 12 to 7. And I was always thinking what would i say if they ask me questions like this but for my surprise non of three never asked anything... What should i do should i wait for questions or should i tell them.

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Jhuma Sarkar

| Sep 07, 2015

A very good write up. My 11 yrs son asked me why his 4 yrs sis has different private part .is not it grown up like him? I told him that not to b worried.. It will b perfectly alright after few years n hope my after few yrs my son will automatically understand d differences between two.

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Karuna Madan

| Sep 07, 2015

A wonderful article n undoubtedly helpful to many parents such as myself. Thank u ????

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Shikha Batra

| Aug 22, 2015

Hi Navin S, 10 years is appropriate time to talk about condom with yr girl. Mother or father either can be her go- to person as far as honest sex education is concerned. Please Don't shy away or get red faced while discussing this issue as it could pass on the message that sex is a shameful act to discuss. This topic should not be discussed just in one day but it should be an ongoing process which can continue for months to years depending on yr child's comfort level. She should not feel overwhelmed with the information. Please use age appropriate words and avoid giving technical detailed description . Once u have discussed about sex,u could say it is one of the birth control methods and also prevents sexually transmitted infections. It is important for preadolescents and adolescents to understand what is safe sex. Hope this helps!

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Navin S

| Aug 21, 2015

There was a mention of condom in a hindi movie. My 10 years daughter asked me what is it? I was not sure how to answer.

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Alka Thakur

| Aug 20, 2015

Shikha, very well explained. Very appropriate for me as I have a five year old daughter who has a basket full of questions all the time. You have made this a cake walk for parents like me. Thanks again.

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Surbhi

| Aug 14, 2015

Thanks for giving us such an important information about the topics which I earlier thinks very difficult to deal with.... Thanks^

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Sakshi

| Aug 14, 2015

Very nice shikha... information is really vry useful

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Shikha Batra

| Aug 13, 2015

Hi Sonal! U have asked very relevant questions. I will try and answer these one by one in points: 1. Children start exploring their body right from infancy. They even touch their private parts in curiosity. Age of 3 years is the right time to give them right words for their private body parts. Between 3 to 6 years we should discuss about good touch and bad touch. 2. By the age of 8 to 10 years children talk about attraction to opposite sex. That's the right time to answer their queries. Teaching about sex should be a continuing process and as and when the question arise,parents without the feeling of guilt and shame should discuss the topic. You can make use of books to explain and substantiate yr points. 3. I believe with proper understanding and knowledge of sex and making her aware of the rules of yr house,u should be able to tackle this situation. 4. Having faith in yr child is important. You need to work on that bond between mother and child and make it strong enough to ensure she doesn't breach your trust. By teenage a child should be considered more of a friend so give him/her the comfort level, that he/she can come and discuss anything with u, including his/her crush , feelings for opposite sex etc.. When sometimes parent overreact and start the blame game, children start shying away and sharing their heart out. TO avoid this one should understand attraction to opposite sex is a normal biological process. The earlier u would accept it without reacting, the better will be understanding between u two. 5. So I am sure before the age of 18 years that situation won't arise, if u have passed on these two parameters: imparting proper knowledge and strengthening the mother daughter bond. though in Indian society it is unacceptable to have sex before marriage but I believe that decision should be left to children once they have crossed teenage (18 years). the focus should be on giving them knowledge on safe sex rather than giving sermons on not having sex as legally also consensual sex is permitted. However the social, moral and familial values should be given precedence. Hope this answers all yr q's.

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Vinod

| Aug 13, 2015

Nice article

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Sonal Kanani

| Aug 13, 2015

Hi. I wanted to know when and what age the child learns abt sex. Is there any age where we can talk to them abt love and sex. Now days they r really fast in hvg sex. As a. Mother I m really worried my daughter will come home and say mom I had sex today. So at what age they should hv the knowledge or to understand that sex is something really private.

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Neha Jain

| Aug 13, 2015

thanks , nice article

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Neha Jain

| Aug 13, 2015

thanks , nice article

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Ami Malay Shah

| Aug 13, 2015

Thanks very important helpful blog

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Sneha Singh

| Aug 13, 2015

Thanks for the info

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Sonam Renwa

| Aug 13, 2015

This is really great. It will really help us to answer our kids.

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Kavita Attri

| Jul 31, 2015

Thanks. This is really very important for us to know

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Shikha Batra

| Jul 17, 2015

Thanks dear proparents for positive feedback!

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SANJEEB ROY CHOWDHURY

| Jul 16, 2015

Really nice article Sikha!!

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Kavitha Gnanam

| Jul 16, 2015

My girl is 10 yrs and i have answered her earlier questions properly. And now its the peak time to answer her next question. but ihave asked her to wait till hee puberty. Is it fine.

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Navin Kumar

| Jul 15, 2015

@Shikha This is really Great. Beautiful tips to handle those situations. With this I would like to ask you one more... see it helps when the kid probes about sex but what should we do for the kids who doesn't ask anything but feels something about sex.. Could you pls help me on this ???

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Navin Kumar

| Jul 15, 2015

@Shikha This is really Great. Beautiful tips to handle those situations. With this I would like to ask you one more... see it helps when the kid probes about sex but what should we do for the kids who doesn't ask anything but feels something about sex.. Could you pls help me on this ???

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Priyanka

| Jul 15, 2015

A well structured dialogue article... Immense help to parents on guiding their kids on the dynamics of sex in every form

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Priyanka Virmani

| Jul 14, 2015

Nice

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Pratibha Thampy

| Jul 13, 2015

Thanks for sharing these simple ways for make kids understand about sex.. it would be of great help actually

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dipali prasad

| Jul 10, 2015

Gr8 ! So somple ways to answer these difficult questions .

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Shikha Batra

| Jul 03, 2015

Thank you dear proparents for such encouraging feedback!

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Darshana Dahanukar

| Jun 12, 2015

Thanks.... very well explained It was a much needed for me

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Manashi Saha

| Jun 11, 2015

A very gd and help ful blog .

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Narsannagari JanardhanReddy

| Jun 11, 2015

Very nice. Keep it up.

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Arvind Rana

| Jun 11, 2015

awsm..... thanx....

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Madhu Rathi

| Jun 10, 2015

Very nice n helpful...

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Suchitra Ramachandraiah

| Jun 10, 2015

Excellent, i was really confused on how to teach my 11 year old son, now after reading this, am confident that i will be able to make him understand..

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Inpreet Kaur

| Jun 09, 2015

Thank for ur suggestions n explanation.

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Swati Joshi

| Jun 09, 2015

Very nice. Thank u

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SANDEEP ROY CHOWDHURY

| Jun 09, 2015

Very helpful. Thanks

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Shikha Batra

| May 23, 2015

Hi Gaurav Vaidya! U could explain to children in age appropriate language without going into details.

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Gaurav Vaidya

| May 21, 2015

Thanks. How shld parents handle a situation when caught in a sexual act by thr children.

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Nita Sahni

| May 20, 2015

Ashwini agree with you- i have experienced similar situation

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Lalitha Sayed

| May 20, 2015

Thanks ... Lovely Article

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Ashwini

| May 19, 2015

Very nice article. Really helpful. As u say children ask such questions repeatedly at different situations, but we should keep in mind not to confuse them with different answers at each time. Don't lie but tell them in a language they understand agewise. And do not loose patience as they will keep on questioning until they r satisfied with the answer.

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Ekta Malik

| May 19, 2015

Spoke to my son but this time confidently. This article helped me a lot in dealing maturely. Thank you Shikha. Waiting for many more enlightening articles from you.

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Ekta Malik

| May 19, 2015

Spoke to my son but this time confidently. This article helped me a lot in dealing maturely. Thank you Shikha. Waiting for many more enlightening articles from you.

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Sucheta Avinash Balkawade

| May 19, 2015

Must say very maturely written and thought upon...

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Unnati Tillu

| May 19, 2015

Just what I was looking for! Thank you and keep up the good work!

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Ruchi verma

| May 19, 2015

Nice but could be made precise and meaningful

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Bipin

| May 18, 2015

Tried answering some of the questions by my kid on tabooed topic of 'sex 'which we were earlier avoiding. thank you very much for sharing.

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Shikha Batra

| May 17, 2015

hi Jayaselvi! That's a nice suggestion. You can find videos on teaching kids about sex education on you tube For parents/caregivers.

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Shikha Batra

| May 14, 2015

Thank you dear Proparents! I agree with you both Sonia Dua and Nita Sahni! Avoiding or delaying discussion on this topic would bring more curiosity as well as Confusion around Which if solved by kids themeselves could be misleading.

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Nita Sahni

| May 14, 2015

Sonia dua so true, imagine something which is avoided each time it comes up, it shall either become that mysterious treasure hunt which our children will try and solve or a taboo which they would become uncomfortable talking about..... either ways, not good for us as parents.

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Sonia dua

| May 14, 2015

Great read for the mothers!! This article will help to prepare them for meaningfull and timely dialogue with their kids.

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Gitesh GOYAL

| May 11, 2015

Very helpful ...thanks

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Jayaselvi

| May 11, 2015

Very interesting. May I ask you.... Can you make an age appropriate sex education for normal children, which every mother could adopt or show the video using the body parts etc.

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Sakuru subashini

| May 11, 2015

Informative topics.

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patel jigar

| May 09, 2015

Nice information. Thnks

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Dipangshu Mallick

| May 09, 2015

Very good information.. thanks

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Raamesh Ramachandran

| May 09, 2015

Neat write up, useful

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Sultan Shadab

| May 09, 2015

Great very good info

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UJJWALA THUKRAL

| May 09, 2015

Very nicely written article. I m really impressed

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hitesh kumar

| May 09, 2015

Nice explaination

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Shikha Batra

| May 08, 2015

Thank you all ! Really appreciate such positive feedback!

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jasneet kaur

| May 08, 2015

Beautifully answered.... !!! ????

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radha gowri

| May 08, 2015

Very informative thank a lot

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Leofrin Steffi

| May 08, 2015

Good information. Thanks a lot!

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Anuradha

| May 08, 2015

Very very important information thanks for helping

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sahithi priyadharsini

| May 08, 2015

Very informative

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Dhan Singh

| May 08, 2015

Such a good information. Thankx

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bhavyagirigowda

| May 07, 2015

Gud information. thankx a lot

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Geeta Dang

| May 07, 2015

nice blog... thanks

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Dimpy

| May 06, 2015

very nice...

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Bobby Sandhu

| May 06, 2015

Nice blog... thanks to help us in such way. My son is now 7 years and many time asking some questions about a child birth. So we decided to tell them clearly with appropriate words according to his age and it works. I'm really surprised when one day he told me that papa today I discussed with my classmates about a child birth because from last few days they were talking wrong things about child birth and today I correct that. So its clear that if we don't help then in those stages when they have lots of questions in their minds, we will lost them because their minds will set in a myth world created by their same age other children.

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Nita Sahni

| May 05, 2015

agree with Gaurav Taneja , gone are the times when we could brush such things aside. Children seek more knowledge and clarity in today's times, and it's important as parents to help them with information in an age-appropriate manner.

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Gaurav Taneja

| May 05, 2015

Nicely constructed Shikha... I am sure each parent will go through this stage and today or tomorrow all of us will have to respond to our children's queries maturely. We can't just shy away and buy time to go away with these questions. We have to become their friends and ensure that they get to know about this from us rather than from any one else.

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neha verma

| May 05, 2015

Amazingly thought n written, gr8

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Medha

| May 05, 2015

Answering their kids' questions about sex is a responsibility that many parents dread. Otherwise confident moms and dads often feel tongue-tied and awkward when it comes to talking about puberty and where babies come from. But the subject shouldn't be avoided. Parents can help foster healthy feelings about sex if they answer kids' questions in an age-appropriate way.

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Dilip

| May 05, 2015

Awesome

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waheeda

| May 05, 2015

Nice blog !!

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Shakila Hebbar

| May 05, 2015

Nice blog thank you ..!

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mehak

| May 04, 2015

Excellent shikha. ...

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Divya

| May 04, 2015

very good blog... simply written and solves so many of my issues too.. loved it

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Nita Sahni

| May 03, 2015

Shikha- thanks for these relatable instances and examples. Really helpful.

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Bipin

| May 02, 2015

Awesome write up.. Always wondered how to handle these questions from kids. Shikha you have dealt with this issue quite brilliantly. Keep up the great work.......

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Ekta Malik

| May 02, 2015

Excellent blog!

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Carol

| May 02, 2015

Very nicely written Shikha. I have had questions from my son at various stages such as how does the hen lay egg, why do I resemble dad when I came from your tummy, what is puberty etc. I ensure that I don't show any hesitation or feel uncomfortable in answering his question so he doesn't think he asked something wrong and he doesn't feel uncomfortable in coming to me next time with his questions. Sometimes I direct the question to him by asking what he thinks it is or how he thinks it happens. In the meantime, I gather my thoughts. But most of the time I am prepared with the facts and an age appropriate answer. For resemblance question, I told him that the babies are formed when the eggs from mom and a seed from dad are joined together. So babies get the characteristics of both the parents. You are right. We need to provide the age appropriate answer. Don't have to go overboard in explaining. All they need is a convincing and truthful answer. And i completely agree on educating even the boys about menstruation at the same age as the girls which is around 10 years. My son is 9 years old. But I used the opportunity when our doggie was on heat. Having a pet is an added advantage in talking about the birds and the bees. :-)

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