In the Midst of Teenagers Argument
Created by Leena Jha Updated on Mar 22, 2020
“Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.”—David Frost, journalist and TV host.
With two teenagers at home, I’m now an experienced referee. Yesterday itself, I had the chance to observe the fight of my neighbor’s two sons, elder one is 6 and younger is 2 years old. Out of desperation their mother remarked to me, “Good your kids are grown up; now you don’t have to deal with their fights.” I smiled and told her, “Good that your kids are still so young, their egos don’t clash.”
Siblings irrespective their age, will argue or fight. There is nothing unnatural in it. But, as a parent, when you are caught amidst the battle, you have to be very careful while dealing with them. Even an innocent act can make a serious dent in their relationship.
How To Handle Teenage Sibling Fights
Here are some tips I have learnt over the years on what to do if caught in the midst of an argument:
- Stay calm. Don’t try to sort out the issue then and there. It is useless. Believe me, they won’t listen to it
- Don’t feel disheartened or curse yourself or your children while watching them fight. Just close your eyes and recall all those numerous fights you had with your siblings
- Avoid interfering in their argument or fight. Sometimes it is good to let them vent out all their grievances and ill-feelings rather than to keep it within and sulk
- Intervene only when the argument is taking a dirty shape or they are becoming violent
- Just be there and listen without being judgmental or taking anybody side. Mothers are usually protective for the younger one and jump for his/her protection. Don’t do that. It might brand you as being partial
- Try to lighten up the atmosphere with some witty comments or anecdote from their past
- Give your kids time to cool down. Serve them ice-cream or their favourite snacks
- When everything is normal, just mention it if you had observed anything objectionable in their debate. Be careful not to accuse them or hold anyone responsible for the fight. Don’t ever use the word ‘Always.’
- Convey it to them that it is normal to fight or argue, but at the same time it is equally important to forgive and forget and move ahead in life
While these tips may work most of the time, it is important to keep your own cool and act spontaneously if the situation demands. Till then happy Parenting and all the best.
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