behaviour
‘Kabhi Kabhi Dhar Dena Chahiye’ — Jaya Bachchan’s Take on Child Discipline
Published: 18/12/25
Updated: 18/12/25
Veteran actress and politician Jaya Bachchan recently spoke about how children should be disciplined, and her words which might seem a bit harsh, quickly became a talking point online. She said, “Chhote bachhe batameezi karte hain, toh kabhi kabhi dhar dena chahiye,” meaning that when small children misbehave, parents sometimes need to be strict.
This one line was enough to spark a big discussion. Some parents agreed with her, while others strongly disagreed. The conversation soon turned into a debate about how children should be raised today.
The Old-School Parenting
Jaya Bachchan’s comment reflects a traditional way of parenting that many people grew up with. In earlier times, parents believed that strict discipline helped children learn respect, manners, and boundaries. For many families, this approach was normal and widely accepted.
People who supported her view felt she was speaking honestly about parenting realities. They believe children need firm guidance at times, especially when they cross limits or show disrespect.
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Why Many People Disagree
At the same time, many parents and child experts were uncomfortable with her statement. They believe that physical punishment can do more harm than good. According to them, hitting or scaring a child may stop bad behaviour for a moment, but it can also leave emotional scars.
Several parents shared their own experiences online, saying that calm conversations, patience, and understanding work better than strict punishment. They feel children respond more positively when they feel safe and heard.
Discipline vs Punishment: The Big Difference
Experts often point out that discipline and punishment are not the same.
Discipline means teaching a child what is right and wrong, while punishment is about causing fear or pain.
Healthy discipline helps children understand consequences without making them feel unloved or unsafe.
How Parenting Has Changed
Parenting today looks very different from the past. Many parents now focus on talking to their children instead of shouting and explaining why certain behaviour is wrong
Experts often say that discipline does not mean punishment. It means teaching, guiding, and correcting with care.
Every child is different. What works for one family may not work for another. In the end, most parents want the same thing - to raise children with good values, strong morals, and a sense of right and wrong.
Why Parents Feel Pressured to Be ‘Perfect’
Parenting today comes with a lot of pressure. Platforms like Instagram often show picture-perfect parenting with calm kids, patient parents, and happy homes. But real life is very different. Children have meltdowns, parents lose their temper, and not every situation has a clear right answer.
Because of this, many parents feel guilty no matter what they do. If they are strict, they are called harsh. If they are gentle, they are called too soft. This pressure makes parents question their instincts and feel like they must get everything right all the time.
In reality, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Parenting is about learning, adjusting, and doing the best you can each day, even on the difficult ones.
Understanding Children’s Behaviour
Children are naturally curious, energetic, and sometimes unpredictable. When they misbehave, it’s often not because they are bad or trying to be difficult, it is usually a way of expressing feelings.
Young kids may act out when they are tired, hungry, bored, or overwhelmed. They are still learning how to manage emotions. Understanding this helps parents respond with patience and empathy rather than frustration.
At the end of the day, parenting isn’t about being perfect or following strict rules. It’s about love, patience, and learning as you go.
So whether you lean toward gentle parenting or create firm boundaries, everything is right. There is only one right way to parenting, the one that works best for your child and your family.
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