Parenting

My 2nd Child: My First Hand Experience

Parentune Support
1 to 3 years

Created by Parentune Support
Updated on Jul 23, 2015

My 2nd Child My First Hand Experience

“Now that your older one is 2+, plan for a second child. She will feel lonely once she is grown up” prescribed my mother-in-law.
“Beta don’t you think you should have another child, may be God will bless you with a boy this time” exclaimed my mother who still believes having a boy means lesser responsibility.
“Uff! The same drill all over again. My sincere advise to you is not to go in for a second child”, forewarned my close friend who recently gave birth to her second baby boy.
“The school fees are skyrocketing. A working class or a family with single earning member cannot even imagine planning a second child” dared a family friend.
“Mummy many of my friends who have a sibling, seem to be unhappy, as they have to share their stuff with them. I am confused should I have one too or not” cross-examined my older one.
“I am going to be terribly occupied this year. Are you sure you will be able to manage all this alone if we go ahead with this decision?” confirmed my hubby dear.

With so many apprehensions and doubts hovering over the many other challenges which life was ready to offer to me, if I chose to go ahead with the decision of having my second child--no support from either in-laws or my family due to their own limitations; my older child who had to get admission in a formal school the following year; coping with older one’s studies and schooling; little support from husband as his job requires both international as well as domestic travel for almost 10 to 12 days in a month; no suitable full-time household help available during that period; helping first child adjust with a new member in the family; my career, which would further go for a toss—I was at a loss to understand what to do.

However, on the other hand, there was a silver lining—my inner voice which kept telling me that I can cope with all of this! I did not want my older one to miss on the fun of growing up with a sibling. I also wanted to relive my childhood days, which meant yelling, bickering, rivalry and fights, sharing deals, planning, and plotting etc. between siblings.

The tussle between positive thoughts and negative thoughts went on for quite some time, until 1st April 2011, the day when my pregnancy test came out to be positive. When I first broke this news to my hubby, he thought this is one of my pranks on April fool’s day. It took both of us a while to realize this was a real news before we could celebrate it. Amidst all the warnings and advises; confusions and reorganizations; introspection and dreaming, there we were with our second daughter in our lap. Here I am proudly posing for a selfie with my two angels. I admit, life would have been incomplete without them.

  • 24
Comments()
Kindly Login or Register to post a comment.

| Oct 05, 2015

I too went with all these questions when thought of having my second Son... It really is a big responsibility coz managing with a little one when u already have little toes moving around.. Means a big thing.. But its really worth everything all the love and affection between the cuties brings loads of satisfaction .. It takes away whole tiredness of the day...

  • Report

| Aug 13, 2015

if we want to take 2nd child by adoption can we take can thy agree to give us child can anyone suggest

  • Report

| Aug 11, 2015

Even i am agreed with Sujata D..

  • Report

| Aug 11, 2015

Hi Sujata D! Appreciate yr thoughtfulness. If all parents take this initiative I am sure many orphans or abandoned children who deserve to get their share of love, will get lucky.

  • Report

| Aug 11, 2015

why no one thinks about adopting a child when they want second one. I too want a second child but i am sure when I am ready i am going for adoption

  • Report

| Aug 11, 2015

Hi Sheila AJ! Ideally there should be a gap of at least 3 and a half years between two kids, as it gives mothers' body the required time to prepare itself for next conception. Plus kids also get their due share of love, and attention from the mother with appropriate spacing between kids. But there is no such hard and fast rule. If u wish u cud consult yr gynecologist to see if this is the right time to bear another child and yr body is prepared for it too.

  • Report

| Aug 11, 2015

Shikha I am going through the same turmoil and confusion. I am yet to take a call on it amd if its 2nd child then when I should start planning as my girl is turning 2 this 19th.

  • Report

| Aug 11, 2015

Hi Divyaganesh! Having a second child should be completely yr decision. If u believe, u will be able to do justice to yr 2nd child on following parameters such as: 1. Giving him/ her his due share of love and time. 2. You have the support required to take care of a new member. 3. U r physically strong enough to take care of another bundle of energy. 4. U have the required financial resources to support two kids till their schooling lasts and fulfill all their other requirements. Hope this helps!

  • Report

| Aug 10, 2015

Pls tell me my son is 5. 5yrs old can we have second child or not

  • Report

| Aug 10, 2015

in ur situation now..

  • Report

| Aug 10, 2015

in ur situation now..

  • Report

| Aug 10, 2015

Same state of mind ...my lil one is of around 2. and we are living in nuclear fly. I am so confused between 'start working again or go for a second one'.

  • Report

| Aug 04, 2015

I'm also going through same problem as my child has turned 2 now n I hv no one to help around

  • Report

| Jul 30, 2015

Direct Dil se! Keep it up!!!

  • Report

| Jul 24, 2015

Nice sharing. To decide for second child is always difficult but it's totally depend on person to person.

  • Report

| Jul 24, 2015

Beautifully written...

  • Report

| Jul 23, 2015

Touched my heart as it came from your heart. Liked it very much. Thank you so very much shikha.

  • Report

| Jul 23, 2015

Awesum article shikha its d same dilemma even in goin thru

  • Report

| Jul 23, 2015

Thanks Bipin, Ekta Malik, Sonia Dua and Deepti Gupta for yr feedback.

  • Report

| Jul 23, 2015

congrts ...shikha u r proud mother of two little angels ....i agree with u it took so much of hard work in upbringing of kids... specially when u r on ur own... in nuclear family... i can understand.. because i have also gone through that tough time.... when there is no one to support u with two kids... both my kids make me realise how challenging it is to be a parent..... I will always love them and proud of them..... my two little naughty boys. Hatts off to you and all the mom nd dad across the world...

  • Report

| Jul 23, 2015

Parents are not going to live for ever. It's great assert to have blood relation and I can't agree more

  • Report

| Jul 23, 2015

Well explained. Can very well connect with parent's state of mind before taking this important decision. Good efforts.

  • Report

| Jul 23, 2015

Too good! Keep it up! Always love yr blogs!

  • Report
+ START A BLOG
Top Parenting Blogs
Loading
Heading

Some custom error

Heading

Some custom error