My 2nd Child: My First Hand Experience
Created by Shikha Batra Updated on Jul 23, 2015
“Now that your older one is 2+, plan for a second child. She will feel lonely once she is grown up” prescribed my mother-in-law.
“Beta don’t you think you should have another child, may be God will bless you with a boy this time” exclaimed my mother who still believes having a boy means lesser responsibility.
“Uff! The same drill all over again. My sincere advise to you is not to go in for a second child”, forewarned my close friend who recently gave birth to her second baby boy.
“The school fees are skyrocketing. A working class or a family with single earning member cannot even imagine planning a second child” dared a family friend.
“Mummy many of my friends who have a sibling, seem to be unhappy, as they have to share their stuff with them. I am confused should I have one too or not” cross-examined my older one.
“I am going to be terribly occupied this year. Are you sure you will be able to manage all this alone if we go ahead with this decision?” confirmed my hubby dear.
With so many apprehensions and doubts hovering over the many other challenges which life was ready to offer to me, if I chose to go ahead with the decision of having my second child--no support from either in-laws or my family due to their own limitations; my older child who had to get admission in a formal school the following year; coping with older one’s studies and schooling; little support from husband as his job requires both international as well as domestic travel for almost 10 to 12 days in a month; no suitable full-time household help available during that period; helping first child adjust with a new member in the family; my career, which would further go for a toss—I was at a loss to understand what to do.
However, on the other hand, there was a silver lining—my inner voice which kept telling me that I can cope with all of this! I did not want my older one to miss on the fun of growing up with a sibling. I also wanted to relive my childhood days, which meant yelling, bickering, rivalry and fights, sharing deals, planning, and plotting etc. between siblings.
The tussle between positive thoughts and negative thoughts went on for quite some time, until 1st April 2011, the day when my pregnancy test came out to be positive. When I first broke this news to my hubby, he thought this is one of my pranks on April fool’s day. It took both of us a while to realize this was a real news before we could celebrate it. Amidst all the warnings and advises; confusions and reorganizations; introspection and dreaming, there we were with our second daughter in our lap. Here I am proudly posing for a selfie with my two angels. I admit, life would have been incomplete without them.
| Jul 23, 2015
congrts ...shikha u r proud mother of two little angels ....i agree with u it took so much of hard work in upbringing of kids... specially when u r on ur own... in nuclear family... i can understand.. because i have also gone through that tough time.... when there is no one to support u with two kids... both my kids make me realise how challenging it is to be a parent..... I will always love them and proud of them..... my two little naughty boys. Hatts off to you and all the mom nd dad across the world...
| Aug 11, 2015
Hi Divyaganesh! Having a second child should be completely yr decision. If u believe, u will be able to do justice to yr 2nd child on following parameters such as: 1. Giving him/ her his due share of love and time. 2. You have the support required to take care of a new member. 3. U r physically strong enough to take care of another bundle of energy. 4. U have the required financial resources to support two kids till their schooling lasts and fulfill all their other requirements. Hope this helps!
| Aug 11, 2015
Hi Sheila AJ! Ideally there should be a gap of at least 3 and a half years between two kids, as it gives mothers' body the required time to prepare itself for next conception. Plus kids also get their due share of love, and attention from the mother with appropriate spacing between kids. But there is no such hard and fast rule. If u wish u cud consult yr gynecologist to see if this is the right time to bear another child and yr body is prepared for it too.
| Oct 05, 2015
I too went with all these questions when thought of having my second Son... It really is a big responsibility coz managing with a little one when u already have little toes moving around.. Means a big thing.. But its really worth everything all the love and affection between the cuties brings loads of satisfaction .. It takes away whole tiredness of the day...