Parenting: An experience from ‘me’ to ‘we’
Created by Rashmi Pandit Updated on Feb 16, 2020
Our world was set to change when we received the most blessed news of our life. We were pregnant! Like any other to-be-parents, we were very excited and were all set to welcome the new member to our family.
Like every other mother even I was made to believe that nurturing the baby is a mother's responsibility and only she can understand a baby's needs. But I am one of the fortunate ones who always had the support of my husband, at every step, right from the decision of pregnancy to taking care of our baby. Below are few instances where my husband stood by me giving all the support required and these same instances will possibly guide most fathers-to-be to do the same:
Decision to have baby
It's solely the decision of the couple to decide when they are mentally prepared for the baby or not. Not only will all the unplanned trips, the late night parties, and the dinners come to an indefinite hiatus, a baby also requires a massive emotional adjustment. Husbands need to stand by their wives in the decision and face the pressures of having a baby.
Help in household chores
Pregnancy is full of mood swings, frustrations and exhaustion. Husbands need to start by pitching in and taking charge of any chores that involve strenuous activities or physical exertion. And sometimes take up a task just to give their wife a bonus time to relax and rejuvenate.
Visit to doctor
Accompanying your wife for the doctor visits would give her the much needed moral support and will help her cope with the changes. Talk to the doctor and understand the do's and don’ts and help your wife follow the same.
Baby care post-pregnancy.
Everyone agrees that taking care of the baby, post delivery is no easy job. Coping with baby’s demands, sleep deprivation, and the body changes can be stressful. It is important that husbands share the responsibility by taking turns staying awake at night, changing diapers and attending to the baby when the later decides to stay awake all the night.
While it feels good to have the support of your husband through your childbearing process, there are few important points even the wives need to understand:
1) While your bonding with the baby starts right from pregnancy, the fathers feel the heat only when the baby is in their arms. So, have patience.
2) The problem lies in the mindset that bringing up a child is a mother’s job. This attitude cannot be changed in a single day. So, give the new dad some time to cope up with the changes in his life, after having a baby.
3) We all know that mothers suffer from postpartum depression, but very less know that fathers could suffer from it too? The new moms have support from friends and family who help them cope with childcare and any traces of depression. But the fathers don't even open up because of the attitude of society towards fatherhood. And the consequences can affect the new dad along, his marriage and his child as well.
4) Give time and help each other manage things. Enjoy the time with your little one. The goal is to stay together happy and healthy.