Reasons Why Your Baby Is Excessively Shy
Created by Swapna Nair Updated on Nov 22, 2018
Each person is different. Each of us have our own individuality and personality. Even if we are identical twins it is amazing to note the variations in personality.
This is obvious because our parents come from different parents and backgrounds. Look at it this way. You and your sibling have the same set of parents, similar upbringing and values. Yes, there would be plenty of similarities but aren’t there differences in your values, outlook and attitude?
Hence when your child is born you discover how similar or different it is from both of you. It is also very interesting to note how infants and toddlers behave right from day 1.
From 0-3 months the baby largely sleeps, cries and feeds and excretes. Yet parents play a very crucial role here especially the mother.
When the child is born it doesn’t understand itself, its body and neither does it know it is a separate entity! Hence how we respond to our infant is important. The baby recognises its primary caregiver’s voice, smell and gradually the face.
The infant cries because that is the only thing it knows to express any feeling. Here the response of the parent is very important. In any situation (infant or toddler) the parent has to practise calmness and patience. Responding to your child’s cry or anger with calmness and a cheerful disposition helps the child grow up to be emotionally stable.
There are several reasons for a baby or child to be excessively shy
- First and foremost, we have to consider the genetic makeup. If a parent or a close family member is excessively shy then there is a good chance for your child to be shy.
- The parental response to the needs of the child – So if you are an anxious parent you transfer the anxiety to your child. If you are aggressive your child would be afraid to speak up or react fearing your response. He/she would automatically be afraid to express and hence become very shy.
- If you are impatient or angry it would affect your baby/toddler.
- If you are over protective also you do not help your child to blossom into its fullest potential.
As the baby grows into a toddler it keeps verifying your reaction and response. If you appreciate failure the baby grows into a confident child.
Imagine your toddler keeps falling while learning to walk- if you get over anxious or irritable it is not healthy at all. Rather if you keep guiding the child grows up confident of your support. Use positive language. Create an atmosphere of appreciation and motivation.
Use soft tones, crooning to settle your baby. Rock your baby gently. Any form of harshness would make the kid anxious. This would in turn lead to poorer self-esteem. Such babies grow up into excessively shy children.
Excessive shyness leads to poor socio emotional development
We should also take care not to label our child as shy or introvert. If we label then others also would. Just accept your child as it is. As they grow gently help them to navigate their social surroundings. If they do not like to take part in school activities do not push them. Give them guidance. Be motivating. Our language and tone is very important when dealing with little ones. Talk about when you felt shy and how you coped. Also it is not the child’s fault as to how his personality is shaping up. Partly it is nature and partly its surroundings. In the surroundings it is parents who play the most important role.
Observe how you and your spouse respond to situations. Your child does what it sees. Role model the behaviour you expect from your ward.
Being shy also has its advantages
A shy child is a good listener and observer. They hardly get into trouble anywhere. They are deep thinkers. It is also easy to inculcate book reading in them. Such children grow up to be great CEOs too. The world’s rich and famous like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Mukesh Ambani are very shy individuals.
Hence do take care and all the best. Love your child as he/she is. It is that simple.