Parenting

The First Period - Mothering An Adolescent

Divya Marwaha
7 to 11 years

Created by Divya Marwaha
Updated on Mar 29, 2018

The First Period Mothering An Adolescent

"Look Mom, it has happened!" That was the moment of truth, the moment when I realized that educating my daughter about menstruation well in advance had made the big difference between "What has happened?" to "It has happened".

As soon as my daughter turned 10, I was apprehensive about her starting her periods because I had known mothers of girls as young as 9 years sharing about their daughters having started menstruating. Early onset of puberty has become a common occurrence these days, and this is probably triggered by the changing lifestyle, obesity and overactive hormones in teenagers due to premature exposure to media like television and internet. Researchers have established that girls, and for that matter even boys, have been experiencing puberty earlier over the last few decades. According to experts, girls who begin puberty earlier are exposed to a higher risk of low self-esteem, lower academic performance and emotional turmoil including depression.

Also Read How To Prepare Your Daughter For Her First period?

It took me a year of contemplation to figure out whether it was right to talk to my child about menstruation. However, when she turned 11, I decided to take the initiative. I talked to her about the physical changes she was going through and also the ones she was likely to go through in the near future. About six months later, when it actually happened for the first time, the information that I had shared with her helped both of us.

Adolescence – A Testing Time For Both, The Parents And The Child

This first step into puberty is a whole new world for both, the child and the mother. A mother has to hold her daughter’s hand, support her and guide her through this transition from a girl to a young lady.

  • This is probably the most challenging phase of being the mother of a daughter and patience is the key to sail through it smoothly
  • Time and again, I have to remind myself that she is no longer the little girl she used to be, now she is an individual with a personality of her own, struggling to climb that crucial step between childhood and adolescence
  • She will need my wholehearted support and I shall need to make sure that I am always there for her

Helping Your Daughter Cope

I still remember those days when I was going through all this myself, how I used to feel and behave. Recalling my own experience helps me avoid making judgments on my child.

  • During this time, the child goes through hormonal changes which often lead to symptoms such as laziness, irritability, headaches, body ache, and nausea
  • The mistake that I made in the beginning was to consider them as excuses. As I talked to mothers in my peer group I realized that these are completely natural and I needed to be more understanding of her varying moods
  • We, as mothers need to patiently listen to our children and help them interpret these signals. The child also needs to be educated about the importance of physical hygiene, handling of sanitary pads and pre-menstrual symptoms

Also Read: Menstrual Pain Causes, Nutritional Foods tips to Relieve periods Pain

Be There For Your Child

Having a friendly conversation with my daughter was really helpful. Initially the child may feel shy discussing the topic, however, hearing that periods are not an illness or a problem, and that she is a normal young woman, reassures the child and can work wonders for her confidence.

Once she is comfortable, she will find it easier to talk to her friends and probably be more relaxed when she learns that even they are sailing the same boat.

Some Handy Tips

Lots of love and patience and a little care can help a mother ease the pain and problems that her daughter might face during her first period. Here are some handy tips that might be of help:

  1. You can help your daughter in maintaining a record / calendar of her menstrual cycle so that she is not caught unawares, though it might not be regular for the first year or so
  2. In case she feels cramps or menstrual pain, you may give her a mild pain killer. A back massage or a hot-water bottle may also do the trick. In case the pain is unbearable, she may need to see a doctor, who can prescribe an appropriate medication
  3. Her diet needs special attention. Spicy and oily foods, excessive salt and sugar may be avoided. A nutritious and balanced diet is important to help her body cope with the physical changes
  4. Raw papaya helps ease menstrual pain while, bananas are good to tackle cramps
  5. Warm beverages are preferable over cold drinks. Herbal tea made with ginger or lemon grass can be helpful. You may also encourage her to drink lots of water

Mothering a daughter is an extraordinary experience. Helping her through this difficult phase and seeing her grow to a lovely person is special. Once a daughter is grown up, both the mother and the daughter can look back and cherish these days as the time when the lifelong bond between them was strengthened even further.

Did you find this blog useful? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section!

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| Mar 30, 2018

Thank-you for this blog post about girls puberty problems and being friendly with our daughters

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| Mar 30, 2018

Really useful

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| Mar 30, 2018

so much helpful blog for us Thanks för it

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| Oct 03, 2017

Thanks a lot.... this article will help all of us to create a different bonding with our daughters

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| Oct 03, 2017

Thanks for sharing such a useful information

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| Oct 03, 2017

thnku for telling to improve da bond

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| Oct 03, 2017

thanks mam for such a useful information.

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| Sep 19, 2017

Thx for sharing.

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| Sep 12, 2017

tnq for the information

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| Sep 12, 2017

tnq for the information

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| Sep 12, 2017

thanks a lot Mam.

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| Sep 12, 2017

thanks a lot Mam.

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| Jul 07, 2017

thanks for your precious advice. it is very helpful for me.

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| Jun 14, 2017

Thank you so much for this information

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| Jun 09, 2017

thank you so much for the needful information.

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| Jun 08, 2017

thank u soo much ....i really need suggestions on this topic

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| Jun 07, 2017

Very useful info that every mom requires..

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| Jun 07, 2017

Thank u so much for your advice. it would be a great help for both mom n daughter.

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| Jun 07, 2017

please give advice for boys mums too as boys too might face problems and changes as they step in teenage

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| Jun 07, 2017

makez bonding of mother and child

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| May 27, 2017

I HV some queries... in this regard.... where do I post them

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| May 09, 2017

Thank you

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| May 08, 2017

Thanks a lot for your wonderful advice just one query do you think since my daughter soon be 8and half yr old I should explain about this to her if not in details just to make her aware

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| May 01, 2017

mbhhbnh

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| May 01, 2017

Thanku verry much for ur valuable advice..

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| May 01, 2017

thanks for sharing this blog.... this is really very helpful for every mother....

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| Dec 12, 2016

Thank you for the information. It is very helpful for the mother how to behave or be patient with the child.

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| Aug 16, 2016

Thanks a lot.. it may helpfull

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| Aug 16, 2016

thanks a lot for this very useful information. my daughter is going to be turn 10. so this information is very helpful to me. thank you once agian.

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| Aug 16, 2016

Thanks for helpful tips really made that big task easy.

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| Aug 16, 2016

thanks a lot for this information

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| Aug 02, 2016

thanks for information

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| Feb 04, 2016

A very helpful post, as my daughter will be turning 10 in march will talk to her about this after her birthday.

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| Feb 04, 2016

Am going to talk to her this day itself,as she has completed her 10 years today,was worried and to tell you the truth very apprehensive How to talk these things with her. Now I have some confidence,going to see other sites for puberty chart like something that can be helpful too. thank you ma'am,this was a much needed subject and you have put it amazingly. Thanx.

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| Sep 03, 2015

Very useful information. My daughter is 6 and a half. When is the right time to tell her about this.

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| Sep 02, 2015

Thanks a lot for sharing such a useful information. I too have a 10yrs old daughter and we discussed about periods. My daughter knows to use a pad . Thanks a lot for those handy tips too.

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| Sep 01, 2015

Very useful for every mother. Thank you for sharing

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| Jun 23, 2015

Very good article . Though my daughter is just 7 will be useful in future. as bhava was asking my son is 12 I have told him issues like how women need caring during those times and how he should treat his class mates(girls) since they will have mood swings. i think as far as boys are concerned father should share his thoughts regarding this. if some one has still more good idea pls share .....

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| Jan 19, 2015

Thanks for sharing the experience. I have a 10 yr old and recently we had a chat regarding this. Very helpful and nicely written.

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| Oct 14, 2014

Thks ... it seems it is a flashback.

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| Feb 28, 2014

A very sensitive issue, has been put so nicely and will really help the mother and daughter to come closer,when all other changes are happening !! Very nice !!

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| Feb 28, 2014

awesum blog im a mother of 2. 5 yr old bt i think these tips are everlasting and will remember them till she grows up

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| Jan 22, 2014

Agrred!!!Have gone thru this!!!!!

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| Jan 13, 2014

how it works in boys case?? how can v introduce them to their puberty?

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| Jan 13, 2014

Very well written and describe things which is very essential of mothers .I have 12yr old nd same way I educate her before two yr back nd I always keep extra precaution of her diet during this time .thanks very much to share these tips .

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| Jan 06, 2014

It is a very good topic to share. My 11 yrs. daughter share things with me but I am tensed to see her long pubic hairs. What should I do, waxed from the parlour or removed with which hair cream.

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| Dec 30, 2013

I am a mother with all the anxious, bit scary await as my daughter is close to 11 and i am expecting the news any days. This is a good write up and thanks Divya for a bit of motivation and confidence.

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| Dec 29, 2013

Thanks for your comments.... this is something very close to my heart, something which I have experienced and something which I really wanted to share with mothers like myself.

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| Dec 18, 2013

Hey Divya ! i agree with the other mums ... it is beautifully written and so honest... great narration...

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| Dec 11, 2013

Good one... thanks

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| Dec 04, 2013

nice writing Divya.

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| Nov 30, 2013

Great reminder for mothers to be. More patient in these times ..

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| Nov 29, 2013

Beautifully put together. Nothing like a mom sharing her own experience.

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