Why Vacation without Children? Ways to Plan & Prepare Child & FAQs
Created by Shikha Batra Updated on Jan 02, 2020
Are you tired of just being a Mom and doing the never-ending duties of a mother? Do you also feel like taking a break as your batteries have got depleted by running errands and doing daily household chores? Does the break that you plan to have involve just the two of you (you and your spouse)? Would you love to go on a vacation without your children? Does, unfortunately, the guilt feeling always stop you from going ahead?
Voila! If the answer is a big YES for all the above questions.
Believe you me when I say, you are not the only parent who can confess that she has planned a vacation without your child/children accompanying you many a time but the guilt gets in the way and the plans go for a toss. Well, there is nothing wrong in going on a couple vacations. A vacation without children is the best formula for a healthy and happy relationship with your spouse. It keeps the romance alive. In addition to this, such breaks are extremely important for a child's sense of security and autonomy.
Does having a vacation without children make you a less responsible parent?
No wonder children become our first priority since the time they are born but taking a little time out for just the two of you (you and your spouse) does not make you any less a responsible parent. Having a couple time is also important as you get to reconnect with your life partner and focus on just the two of you. This quality time that you spend with each other, would be enough to keep the spark alive.
When should we start planning for this vacation?
It might not be easy for us as well as our children when we are leaving them for the first time, so one needs to break the news early. Telling them three to four months in advance about this trip will give them the time to mentally prepare themselves for this brief separation and also in learning to manage themselves in our absence.
Whom should we leave our children with in our absence?
Ideally, it would be in the best interest of the child to leave them with trustworthy adults with whom they would be safe. It could be paternal or maternal grandparents, a nanny, someone with whom the child already shares a special bond with for instance his/her aunt or your extremely trusted friend.
Why is a vacation without children also important for child/children?
This vacation would prove to be good for our children too as they would appreciate a break from their parents. By having frequent such vacations, we would help them become independent children and adults one day. The children get the confidence that they do not need their parents around every second to have fun. Besides they would also get a chance to spend some time with their grandparents/favorite aunt etc.
How you can help children deal with this separation?
Prepare them in advance by communicating with them regularly on how to go about managing themselves. Let them do their own chores without any assistance so that they do not feel at a loss in your absence. Discuss when to chat or to make a video call or do facetime with you once you are on a vacation. You could also leave your pictures, family pics, sweet and short notes like 'Love you baby', 'Finish your food' etc. which would not only pass on the required message but would also make them feel you are not ignoring them.
What can be done to make this a stress-free vacation?
To keep the anxieties at bay and make this a stress-free vacation one could make a checklist wherein you could jot down all important information as in contact numbers of relatives, emergency numbers, information about important papers etc. and make two-three copies and leave them with the caretaker, child as well as in a safe drawer just in case of need. Keep the first-aid kits handy. Stock up all essential items including perishables and non-perishable snacks items besides daily use items. Give instructions to household help and other helpers who would be visiting them in your absence. You could also write day to day activity guide, food preferences, list of 'where to find things' such as their school uniform, casual clothes etc.
How to spend your getaway with your spouse?
The best part of this vacation without children is reconnecting with your spouse and yourself. A lot of sleeping, reading, a relaxing massage, spa and nice romantic dinners at the hotel are some of the things you could indulge in. Put your spouse and this relationship on the front burner and do whatever makes the two of you happy and reignites the spark.
Some of the tips to make this getaway a successful and a special one:
trust your caregiver
leave photos, small notes, cute reminders for your children
plan for any exigency and be ready with a back-up plan
brush away the guilt
stay connected with your munchkins
bring a memento or a gift
Once you are away for your vacation without your children, you would not be catching uptime, have no scheduled appointments to meet, there will be no stress of tests and homework to be finished. Your spouse and you could wake up according to your own sweet will without the fear of missing the school bus the next day. You could talk at length on the things you possibly missed on while performing the duties of parents and reflect on how much life had changed after having children. Once you return from your vacation without your children you would be in a better frame of mind and be a better parent.
Do share your experiences with us if you have had a vacation recently or if you do plan to have one soon. Do you recommend it? Please share your views in the comments section!