Parenting

How To Deal With Your Child's Temper Tantrums?

Kavitha Sriram
7 to 11 years

Created by Kavitha Sriram
Updated on Mar 04, 2018

How To Deal With Your Childs Temper Tantrums

Are you also dealing with temper tantrums of a growing child? Is your 8 or 9-year-old throwing fits at the word go, and do you feel helpless in controlling it? If the answers to these questions are yes, then don’t worry, as you are not alone in this. Here’s my story and what I did to handle the anger issues in my son. I am the mother of a 9-year-old male child. My son, when he was young, even now and then he still loses his temper. And it was not restricted to losing temper it moved on to being stubborn for certain things. My husband and I are working and we were a bit worried, then we discussed and tried to work out a way. But before I share the hacks that helped us to control our son’s temper tantrums.

Why Do Older Children Lose Their Temper?

Generally, temper tantrums are an issue with toddlers but if your school going child is throwing temper tantrums and that too at regular intervals then there might be something that is bothering him or her. So sit with your child and spend some time with him or her so that they don’t feel neglected. Also, older the child grows, more understanding he or she becomes about his or her environment. He knows and understands the strengths and weaknesses of his parents and others around him or her and he feels that by throwing a tantrum he or she can get away with it.

How To Help My Child Who Has Anger Issues?

Like I said, even a growing child is still a child and needs your constant attention. So here’s what you can you do.
  1. Begin with yourself:

    We keep saying this but forget while practicing – the child learns from you so if you are able to control your temper, chances are your child will also be able to do the same
  2. Anger is not wrong:

    You need to remember that anger is not wrong but to be constantly angry indicates some underlying issue. So help him identify the anger and then guide them to deal with it in a positive way
  3. Reconnect with your child:

    This is your best chance to reconnect with your child and strengthen the ‘connect’ with your child
  4. Give your love and support:

    An angry child needs your love and support and not your criticism or your punishment. So be sensitive about your child’s feelings

What I Did To Help My Child With Temper Tantrums?

Here are few things we did to handle the temper tantrum in our son.
  1. Respond with a smile:

    When he was losing his temper and looked at me to expect shock, anger, and frustration--which was usually my reaction--I started looking at his eyes with a calm face for few seconds, to change the situation. He would get confused and would start smiling. If he was still angry, I used to laugh loudly, and he wouldn't be able to stop his smile
  2. Teach patience:

    Children usually throw tantrums when they want something and we don't provide it. So, to teach him patience, I played his own game. When my son started communicating, he had just learnt numbers 1 to 3. I gave him 2 pens in hand and asked him to give 3 pens back to me. He counted twice and gave 2 pens saying that he just had 2. I started throwing tantrums that I wanted 3. He couldn't understand what to do and slowly explained that he can't give me the 3rd one. We used this as a chance to explain that parents do have limited resources and thus it is not possible to buy everything, and only necessary thing could be bought
  3. Role play:

    We usually play mother- son game that is he is my mother and I am the adamant son. Gradually, I would bring in the issues we had and he now understood how difficult it was to deal with a situation sometimes
  4. Share incidents and anecdotes:

    Now we discuss even our office problems with him, so he understands what we go through with on a daily basis and also gives his own inputs—how to deal with a situation creatively and innovatively
  5. Take his opinion:

    Instead of telling him what to do, we ask him, what shall we do differently that will help him to make him feel important

With these ideas, I think these 3 t's—temper, tears and tantrums—could be handled easily and efficiently. I feel today's children are more intelligent, mature and friendly. Their exposure is greater than our childhood days, and parenting is a journey we take together as a family, where the child's role is more important. Have a great parenting journey, it is a blessed journey and once in a lifetime opportunity to learn and grow at the same time.

Did you find this blog on how to deal with your child’s temper tantrums, useful? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section!

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| Apr 13, 2018

good suggestion

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| Mar 26, 2018

my son do like that i think this is the best way to teach

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| Mar 07, 2018

very useful to tips, thank you.

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| Mar 06, 2018

very effective suggestions. interesting read!

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| Mar 05, 2018

Very helpful. I was very worried about his Behavior and was unable to decide what should I do. Thanks a lot for sharing.

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| Mar 05, 2018

thank you

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| Dec 21, 2017

Thank you so much

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| Nov 21, 2017

Thank you so much Ma'am for your expertise.. will definitely try to implement it

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| Oct 31, 2017

very helpful thanks for sharing

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| Oct 04, 2017

very nice solutions It makes me easy to understand my kid now and will definitely control his anger

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| Oct 04, 2017

Thanks

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| Sep 27, 2017

Thanks for the superb solutions

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| Sep 19, 2017

Thx for ur superb ideas

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| Sep 15, 2017

seriously its very difficult to handle kids tantrum u give us very innovative ways to handle such type of situation thanku soo much

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| Sep 15, 2017

Very nice n useful information... thank u so much for super idea

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| Sep 15, 2017

really appericiated ur ways of handling... tons of thanks

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| Sep 15, 2017

thanks for sharing this blog.... actually I'm also facing this situation

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| Sep 15, 2017

ya... i m facing the three Ts regularly... thankyou ur tips look lk it'll wrk...

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| Sep 15, 2017

Its really gud message

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| Sep 15, 2017

Thanks for such wonderful ideas, I will definitely try these tricks.

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| Sep 15, 2017

thanku for wonderful ideas.. it's very useful for me

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| Sep 15, 2017

That was really a good message. I will try to practice with my 10 year old son.

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| Sep 06, 2017

Thanks for your great ideas....

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| Sep 05, 2017

thank you how can I share this with others

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| Sep 03, 2017

Thank you for the d wonderful ideas which is very helpful for me and other mom too.

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| Sep 01, 2017

Thank you. we will try to practise it.

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| Sep 01, 2017

Great idea

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| Aug 30, 2017

Thanks It's great, I will try this

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| Aug 29, 2017

i will try these tricks with my son as i have same problem

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| Aug 28, 2017

I am benefited a lot. I must try. Thank you.

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| Jul 13, 2017

gret ..we should have keep calm

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| Jul 13, 2017

great strategies

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| Jul 13, 2017

great idea to handle boys

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| Jul 13, 2017

good ideas worth trying

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| Jul 13, 2017

good idea

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| Jul 13, 2017

really nice idea

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| Jul 13, 2017

nice ideas thanks

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| Jul 13, 2017

very helpful

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| Jul 13, 2017

useful ideas

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| Jul 13, 2017

Great advice mam

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| Jun 19, 2017

agreed

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| Jun 01, 2017

don't get me wrong but I hope it works. I am more than willing to experiment

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| May 31, 2017

very effective advice..

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| May 27, 2017

thanks , for your advice

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| May 27, 2017

luv u lady....... u r a genius!!!

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| May 15, 2017

very realistic tips.

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| May 05, 2017

very helpful advice.

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| May 01, 2017

Thank you for the practical tips

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| Apr 29, 2017

very effective tips .thank you

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| Apr 28, 2017

awesome tips, thank u

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| Apr 27, 2017

wow, interesting pa... let me try this with my dr...

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| Apr 27, 2017

try with my son

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| Apr 14, 2017

really this is very good suggestion to handle kids

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| Apr 10, 2017

very good tips mam n thanku

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| Apr 04, 2017

amazingly awesome. That pen game is what am looking to do with my 2. 5 yr old. I feel he could understand a bit of it and that would be enough for his age. Really helpful post.....

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| Apr 03, 2017

very nice. thanku

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| Mar 20, 2017

it is very good advice to handling a adamant child the u very much mam

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| Feb 23, 2017

NYC write up

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| Feb 22, 2017

lovely

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| Feb 22, 2017

nice advice . thanks

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| Feb 18, 2017

.mm LM

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| Feb 18, 2017

thx .it helped me

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| Feb 16, 2017

Nice advices... will try them... . thanks

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| Feb 15, 2017

nice way would try it out

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| Feb 13, 2017

will try Thanks for sharing

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| Feb 12, 2017

I 'll try my best... it's too good

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| Feb 11, 2017

nice one I ll surely try

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| Feb 10, 2017

Thank you

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| Feb 08, 2017

will try them.... thanks for sharing

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| Feb 08, 2017

Thanks Kavitha! u have tried innovative ways to bring down the anger. Would be practically very helpful

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| Feb 06, 2017

Truly helpful

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| Feb 04, 2017

great idea to deal with kids.. very interesting one.

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| Feb 01, 2017

thank u so much... am in same position... I feel am gng to depression ...hope this blog helps me

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| Jan 31, 2017

thank you ..it was very helpful

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| Jan 24, 2017

nice way to control their anger, good thought

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| Jan 20, 2017

wonderful.. even I'm going to try this pen counting idea...

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| Jan 18, 2017

My son is 13yrs old he gets angry and is very adamant. Please suggest me what to do when he gets angry

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| Jan 17, 2017

very nice yar. ..it's so helpful.

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| Jan 16, 2017

soooo helping

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| Jan 16, 2017

hey.. thanks Kavita.. what an inspiring read!! my daughter is 7. 5yrs and I face same problems of tears and anger.. and it does irritate me . i am Definitely going to try reverse mother and daughter play. Thanks a ton..

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| Jan 16, 2017

superb.. n I do the same for his tantrums.. although its tough in the beginning but gradually v appreciate the change

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| Jan 16, 2017

wowwww nice.....

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| Jan 15, 2017

Its good... Specially no 4.. I saw my parents did the same thing in our childhood

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| Jan 15, 2017

i have 1 n 11 months girl. She is smart but her tantrum is too much. when she want something she just makes a lot of scene. can you plz help.

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| Jan 15, 2017

Too good...

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| Jan 15, 2017

Nice

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| Jan 15, 2017

Thanks for sharing..

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| Jan 15, 2017

very nice ..thanks for sharing

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| Jan 14, 2017

Thanks a lot dear for adding such valuable information.

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| Jan 14, 2017

98 hi u78 my 888 ko on non jil ko ppo9 op pic

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| Jan 14, 2017

thank u for ur lovely sharing, i will sefinatwly try to implement these ideas

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| Jan 14, 2017

I will surely try this. ..I think this is the best way .....

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| Jan 14, 2017

Thanks,,nice inspiring experience.. worth following

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| Jan 14, 2017

Thanks this all is helpful

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| Jan 14, 2017

I will also try this sounds too good

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| Jan 13, 2017

Wow... i will also try this in the future

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| Jan 13, 2017

nice,I'll implement this for my child

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| Jan 13, 2017

My son is 10yrs old... N he is much aggressive, smart enough to thn us to tackle the issues... N now v r tired handling him v feel stress now.... Studies is another big issue he just don't want to do n leave blank the papers.... Can Sme one suggest sme different ideas to deal with

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| Jan 13, 2017

awesome ideas definitely i am going to implement thanks a lots

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| Jan 13, 2017

nice tricks to tackle these kinds of problems. thanx for sharing.

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| Jan 13, 2017

Nice tips. I am having issues with my 9-year old as well. Will try these

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| Jan 13, 2017

wow nicely handled and really I love the idea . thanks for these tips... I think it would work on my son too....

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