Why Constantly Yelling at Your Child Is Making Things Worse — Sister Shivani Explains!

When a child misbehaves, forgets to do something, or makes a mistake, many parents’ first reaction is to yell, scold or raise their voices. But is that really helping?

According to spiritual teacher and parenting guide Sister Shivani, constantly yelling or scolding children for every little thing doesn’t improve behaviour, it can make things far worse.

How Yelling Affects Your Child

Most parents want good behaviour, respect, and cooperation from their children. But research shows that yelling or shouting can backfire. How?

·       Children may become fearful, anxious or withdrawn instead of listening

·       Constant yelling can create stress and tension in the home, making children less likely to share emotions and problems.

·       Instead of learning why a behaviour is wrong, children may just learn to avoid punishment.

Experts say that yelling often causes children to focus on the emotion behind the voice, not the message itself, which can damage trust and connection between parent and child.

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What Sister Shivani Says About Calm and Compassionate Parenting

Sister Shivani frequently shares guidance on nurturing children. She mentions how parenting is all about love and emotional presence rather than control or fear.

What she says….

1. Correct With Calmness, Not Anger

Sister Shivani emphasises that a child’s first and most powerful environment is the emotional state of the parent. If a parent reacts in stress or anger, the child absorbs that energy like a sponge. Remaining calm when correcting behaviour instead of yelling helps children receive and understand the message rather than feel attacked.

2. Focus on Understanding, Not Blame

Instead of scolding a child for every small mistake, Shivani encourages parents to see the root cause of behaviour. Understanding why a child is acting a certain way.

3. Avoid Negative Labels and Comparisons

Labels like naughty, lazy, or bad can stick with children long after the moment is gone. Shivani advises against attaching these kinds of tags, because they can shape a child’s self-image negatively.

4. Be a Parent With Boundaries  - Not Just a Friend

Sister Shivani also warns against trying to be a child’s friend instead of a parent with healthy boundaries. While closeness matters, clear roles help children feel secure and guided.

Adopt This Method Instead of Scolding, Says Sister Shivani

Instead of scolding children for every small mistake, Sister Shivani advises parents to focus on their child’s good qualities. She explains that one of the most powerful ways to bring positive change is through appreciation and gentle reminders. Spending a few minutes every day with your child and telling them what they do well helps them feel seen and respected. When parents say things like “You are a very good child,” “I am proud of you,” or “You learn something new every day,” it builds confidence and trust. Children naturally respond better when they feel valued and not judged.

Why Shouting Doesn’t Work And What Does

Parenting experts agree that yelling triggers a fight-or-flight response in children, which limits their ability to think, process emotions, or respond reasonably. Children may behave worse or even stop communicating openly as a result.

Instead of yelling, speak in a calm tone and explain the why behind rules and expectations. Also, listen before correcting so your child feels heard

The mindful and calm approach grows trust and emotional intelligence in the child and builds a stronger parent-child relationship over time.

Yelling might feel like the quickest way to get a child’s attention, but it rarely changes behaviour in a lasting or healthy way.

As Sister Shivani reminds us through her teachings, children absorb energy before logic, and the emotional energy parents emit matters deeply in shaping their children’s behaviour and self-image.